The Zoo Keeper and the Mechanic
by wolfofsheep
Summary: An [AU] Shallura fic focused on the daily life of Allura Romelle, Zoo Keeper, and her mysterious neighbor, Takashi Shirogane. Rated T for now, but will be getting a bit M later on. (don't worry, I'll warn you ahead of time).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 _This is a Shallura AU fanfic and is loosely based off a story I had planned a long time ago. Allura is a Zookeeper and Shiro is a Mechanic. They're not roommates, but... they are single neighbors. This puppy is possibly a slow burn with a mixture of antics, angst, fluff, and possibly adult stuff (stronger than a possibly) down the line. I really hope you enjoy it and know that I really DO plan on finishing this one. I SWEAR. lol_

 _Anyways, I do not own any Voltron characters, new or old, so suing me will only be a waste of your and my time. I do not have a beta and there are more than likely a huge ton of errors in this thing. Forgive them for their sins._

 _Please enjoy._

* * *

The walls were paper thin, the toilet clogged sometimes, you had to give the stove a little kick for it to turn on, and the bathroom light flashed a few times before turning on completely... but it was hers. Allura smiled as she placed her bags down in the living room and fell backwards onto the black leather couch that thumped in response. She let her mind sift through the all the chaos that had plagued her in the past couple of years.

Her mother died of cancer and sent her father into a spiral of bad decisions that led her working 3 jobs just to help pay the debt. In midst of working her ass off, her health began to deteriorate. She'd have waves of pure pain and nausea that would make her miss work, constantly. With the debt paid off, she took time to get herself checked. Coran, a man who had been in her life since she was born and who she considered to be a second father, went with her to the women's hospital. The doctor's were afraid that it was cancer, like her mother, but it turned out she had PCOS. She had cysts all over her ovaries. She had them removed, but over the course of a few months, they continued to return. At the age of 19, she made a very hard decision to just remove her ovaries and uterus all together... for her health. She told no one. Only Coran. She wasn't able to have children. At that time, it didn't seem to matter.

After all that, she focused on her education. Her freshmen year went a few weeks, undecided. She really didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. She HAD wanted to be a teacher like her mother, but it just didn't feel right. It was then that she met Lotor. He was so handsome and sweet that it felt like he was a dream come true. He took her to the Zoo for their first date. She not only fell in love with him, but she found a career that she could sink her teeth into. She returned to school with a boyfriend and a path. She'd get her bacholer's degree in Zoology. During her sophmore year, she shadowed with the Arusian Zoo, or AZ, just to get her foot in the door. Living on campus was both an eye opener and a relief. Lotor would visit her and she'd be swept in passion (yet she still didn't tell him about her inability of having children), but going home for holidays was a nightmare. Gambling, aside, it was the women and men coming in at all hours of the night that was her main concern. She couldn't study OR sleep with the smell of marijiuana and loud voices all through the night.

Coran was her only saving grace. He had been friends with her father since grade school and was really great friends with her mother. When it became too much, Coran offered her his guest bedroom at his house and she leapt at that. Coran was a softspoken person when you first meet him. He was diplomat and could speak 6 different languages with a poise that made him look like royality, but once you got to know him... he was fiery New Zealander who was full of compassion and pretty funny. He had 4 pet mice that were strangely intelligent, much like their owner. She felt at home, here, and could feel the warmth of love like she once had with her mother. It made her cry sometimes, but an understanding hand on her shoulder would always make her smile. She doesn't know how many times she had thanked Coran, but she had meant it every single time.

Once she graduated, she was hired by the AZ on the spot and two years in, Lotor proposed to her. Her work became her main focus, though, and it cost her. Lotor cheated on her and they broke up. The only man she ever loved, ripped her heart out, yet... she blamed herself. Lotor didn't seem to mind it, too much, because she never heard from him, again. With a fragile heart, she turned her entire world into her career. She aimed for the big cats and their habits, behaviors, and husbandry. She worked at the AZ for 12 years and became the leading keeper for the Lion exhibit. Schools of children flooded in on a daily there, and one day... a group of children deemed her the Princess of the Lions because of how pretty she was.

It was Lance, the keeper for the otters, that started calling her Princess... and it stuck... with everyone. She really wanted to punch him in the face, sometimes, but... he was a really nice guy; once he got all of his ridiculous flirting out of the way. She had been living with Coran all those years and loved it, but... she needed her own place. Her animals had consumed her life, but... if she ever wanted a little bit of a love life, herself... bringing home a man to another man with a huge mustache may very well end badly. She started searching and found a cheap little hole in the ground, but it was really close to the Zoo. She got approved and started packing. Coran's face was like a hurt puppy, but he helped her pack. He was really going to miss her and she him, but he understood completely. He offered her help, no matter what it was, and they confirmed with a hug.

That was when she heard that her father was killed in some back alley and had no witnesses to a very bloody murder. She was dragged into his finicial debts and funeral costs, but before anything could escalate, Coran's lawyers had jumped in and took care of everything. Saved by her second father, once again. He had taken her aside after the funeral and hugged her as he said with a very strict voice, "You don't owe me a thing, 'Lura. You hear me? If you feel like you need to pay me back then... just live happily. That's all your mother and father ever wanted for you. Yeah?" She nodded with her sobs stuck in her throat. He kissed her forehead, took her home, and fed her Juniper flavored ice cream.

* * *

Now, she was here, looking up at the huge crack in her ceiling with a sigh. She heard the thumps of boots coming up the stairs just outside her door. Her door was still open and she thought it was Coran. She pushed off the couch and ran out to meet him. She skipped and leapt out the door right into the personal bubble of a very broad, dirty, and rather handsome stranger. He was wearing a white wifebeater that had black stains all over them. His arms were looked like they were chiseled from stone. But his right arm had a long black glove that turned into a sleeve that went a little above the curve of his arm. A huge, clean cut scar went from cheek to cheek just under his eyes and over his nose. He was gorgeous.

Please don't be a jerk, she chanted inside her head. She watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed and cleared his throat before grabbing for something in the back pocket of his well fitted jeans. He yanked out a mechanic's cloth and wiped his gloved hand, thoroughly. He offered it to her with a rather awkward smile, "I'm Takashi Shirogane, 32, mechanic, not at all a man that usually stares at women like he's never seen one before, and... your next door neighbor." He turned and pointed to the door right next to hers.

She smiled widely and shook his hand, "Allura Romelle, 31, Zookeeper, and not a woman who usually ninja jumps out of doorways to try and hug random strangers." With their laugh and handshake over, he put his gloved hand behind his head and scratched before adding, "Wow... a zookeeper? That sounds exciting. You work at Arusian?"

She nooded, "Yep. I'm the lion lady."

"Shut Up! That's amazing. This is going to sound really random, but I hope it reads as me being a nice guy, but if you ever need your car looked at... don't hesitate to ask."

She smiled, "I shall take that as a you being a nice guy, but I don't have a car. Yet, if you ever need your lion looked over, don't hesitate to ask me, either."

They shared a ridiculous laugh before the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs got them both looking back at Coran, looking quite stunned then suspicious, "'Lura... everything ok?"

Coran's voice was deep meaning he was trying to sound intimidating. Her and Takashi WERE standing pretty close and were both looking at him like they were guilty, "Everything's fine, Coran. I was just talking to my new neighbor, here. Takashi."

Coran took the last step and squinted, "I see."

The young man cleared his throat, "Do you need help with any boxes or anything?"

Coran looked back at his Land Rover, "No, I think we can handle it." Then he looked back at the man with a look of a father protecting his child,"But thank you... Takashi."

Allura looked at Coran with a 'really' look, but she could tell that Shiro saw the predator stare and took the hint. It made her laugh to herself as Shiro pivioted towards his apartment, but not before looking over at her and making a motion of tipping his hat to her. She mocked a curtsy and he gave a smouldering smile before going into his apartment.

"I saw that."

Allura turned to see a very disapproving look on Coran's face, "You just met him, 'Lura. Don't go getting all goo-goo eyed over him because he is really handsome. He could have girlfriend or a significant other. Just... just don't jump into a relationship like you did with that Lotor, fella."

Allura groaned at the mention of the bastard's name and rushed down the stairs to grab the 6 boxes she packed. Lotor was a very sore subject of hers. He was handsome and charming and knew exactly what she wanted to hear, but she wasn't the only one, apparently. She had never been so happy when she was with him. A lawyer and a zoo keeper. It was a weird match made in heaven, until she started working at the zoo. Her hours varied on a day to day basis, so it didn't leave them with coordinated time together. The ninth day of their engagement was the day that she got off of work early. So cliché. A spouse coming home early to find their significant other in bed with another person. GOD she hated that story. But... it was exactly what happened. EXCEPT, Lotor pushed the envelope by having TWO women in bed with him. He pleaded and tried to explain that he was just tired of waiting for her every single day... blah blah blah. He tried to turn their broken engagement on her 'workaholic behavior', but she knew it was because of her. Having an almost zero sex drive and never telling him she couldn't have children. She took the blame and Lotor let her. That was the first and last time she'd been in a relationship. She wanted to be with someone, but Coran was right... she needed to take her time finding the right one.

* * *

After getting her stuff unpacked (which was literally just her graphs, calendars, and notebooks for her lions and some pots and pans), her and Coran had some tea, went shopping, and had lunch together. They parted ways with a long hug and he dropped her off at her complex with her hands full of groceries. As she walked up the front stairs from the parking lot that led right to the two doors with 2A and 2B on them, she stopped to see Takashi, two other men, and a younger girl, about in her 20's, sitting in lawn chairs right in front of his apartment laughing and drinking... soda from glass bottles. She finished the trek and the four turned their heads to stare at her. She froze and smiled awkwardly. Takashi gave a chuckle with a smile before waving to her, "Evening Neighbor."

She melted. Dammit, she was weak for that man's smile. She gave a nod, "I didn't mean to interrupt..."

The young girl shifted in her green lawn chair with a happy but mischievious smile, "You're not interrupting anything but these three grease monkey's ramblings on about proper motor maintenance. You actually saved me from hearing it, again, for like the 50th time this week... so, THANK YOU. I'm Katie. Friend's call me Pidge. These rude men are Matt, my brother, and Keith, Shiro's brother. The two smiled and nodded at their introduction and Allura tilted her head, "Shiro?"

The three turned their heads at Takashi and gave him a look and he reacted in a panic, "I just met her today. How weird would it be to introduce myself with a nickname you guys gave me in elementary school? Anyways, Allura, my friend's call me Shiro because _some_ people couldn't pronounce my last name when we were kids." Matt made a face and that got them chattering about school.

She basked in the warmth of their friendship as they shared a moment of remienscing. At the same time, she wanted to escape to her room because she felt like she didn't belong in this moment. She moved to her door, but was stopped by her neighbor's voice, "You don't have to run off. You can join us, if you like, pop open a chair and have a drink with us, you know... after putting your groceries away."

She turned and looked at the group with an apologetic look, "Rain check. Thank you for the offer, but I'm very tired. Next time, for sure, though. Good night to you all. It was nice to have met you." The other three waved and bid her a good night while "Shiro" nodded in understanding and smiled, "Rain check, then. Night."

She moved to her door, unlocked it, and slid into her apartment. After closing it, locking it, putting her bags on the small kitchen island, and moving to her couch... she plopped down and sighed. Two men and a young girl who was the sister of a friend, but no woman hanging off his arm or pining after him. He was either gay or single. She could hear the group laughing loudly and probably at his expense because of her. She was getting hopeful, again. And how convenient that he lived right next door... "NO... NO Allura. You are going to focus on your lions! Narti is going to have her cubs soon and they're mating season is coming up and you need to FOCUS."

* * *

She took a moment to look around her new home. The walls were barren with barely any furniture in it. The kitchen was small, but managable and all she had in the living room was a black couch and a tall lamp. Her bedroom was no more boring than the rest. She had put her sheets on the matress and her pillow and the night stand stood with only a framed picture of her when she was young, her father, her mother, and Coran in 'Royal' clothing from one of her birthday parties. Coran was wearing a tall, Princess hat while twirling his mustache between his fingers while her mother and father leaned their crowned heads against one another. She gripped the frame and brought it with her as she rolled onto her back and stared at it. Her eyes always fell to her mother's face. As the tears in her eyes formed, she hugged the photo to her chest. She wished that was the face she remembered of her mother. Happy. Healthy. Alive. But all she could remember is her mother losing color in her face and gradually dying from the pancreatic cancer that refused to go away. She was too young to remember the grim details, but not young enough to see the pain it caused her. Allura rolled on her side and sobbed quietly in her very empty bedroom.

Allura let out a huge yawn as she turned and locked her door. She was just in time to witness her neighbor opening the door, tight black shirt, to grab the newspaper at his front door. When their eyes met, she was quick to recover, "We really need to stop meeting like this."

He picked up the paper and his smile almost cut her in half, "I don't mind if you don't. Off to work?"

She smiled softly and nodded, "Yep."

He walked out and he asked with curiousity in his eyes, "What do you actually do with the lions? I mean, as a keeper, do you just name them and feed them?"

She licked her lips and refused to look anywhere else than in his eyes, "That would take a few hours to explain so... that, too, will have to have a rain check."

He tapped the paper on his shoulder and looked sternly, "I know a really great resteraunt. Maybe... I take you there one day to hear this hour long speech?"

She gave a very amused smile at his bravery and straightforwardness, "Why Shiro... did you just ask me out on the second day we've met?"

He gave a cute shrug, "I can't cook and I would love to hear about your job. It's a whole lot more exciting than hearing about the oil changes I do on a daily basis."

DAMMIT ALLURA... DAMN. IT. "Sure. Let me check my schedule." She pulled out her phone and tapped an app that had her schedule neatly planned out. She felt really nervous and very desperate as she scrolled. The only time she had availible was... tonight. She looked at him with amused eyes and he jolted with an equally amused face before she spoke, "Tonight too early for this little meeting of ours?"

He made a motion of stroking a beard then smiled, "Tonight would be perfect. I'll meet you at the stairs at 6?"

She moved and headed down the stairs since she was going to be late, "It's a meeting date, then!"

As she got to the bottom, she slapped herself on the forehead, "It's a meeting date? God!" She jogged around the corner feeling like a huge dork and hopped on the shuttle to the AZ.

* * *

She got to the clock just at 9. She mentally high fived herself as she rushed to her small cubicle and turned on her computer. It took it a few moments to come on and she finally typed in her pin and the wallpaper of her first little of cubs popped up. She double clicked on a file that pulled up her skype and emails. She groaned and sat in her chair at the first email on her list. Honerva... she had become a pain in her ass for the past few years. She demanded paperwork on EVERYTHING with the big cats. She was surprised she wasn't taking Sendak and Narti's paw prints for authenication. She clicked on the email, and sure enough... she wanted the schedule and paperwork from the last check up on the two breeding cats.

"God. This woman is an absolute monster. How does she think I have time to type her a freaking essay when I have a romp of otters I need to keep disease free?"

Allura closed her eyes and smiled widely. Lance always said what was on her mind and it scared her, "Why don't you try writing an essay, organizing the veterinarian's synopsis of your pregnant lioness, making copies of reciepts for the meat and vitamins, AND briefing her on the mating schedule of your lions? Then we can talk."

Lance popped his head over the wall of her cubicle with playful frown, "I swear she has the Wicked Witch of the West theme playing whenever she walks."

She snorted a laugh and changed the subject, "Speaking of Witches... how'd your date go?"

Lance groaned and dramatically flailed to the opening of her cubicle, "She broke up with me. BUT... in her defense... she did catch me making out with her brother."

"LANCE!"

He grinned and shrugged, "WHAT? He was hot."

She balled up one of her sticky notes and threw it at him. He dodged it with his tongue sticking out. She shook her head as the bisexual grabbed his clipboard and headed for the zoo floor, "Don't forget that we have a board meeting today to talk about the budget cuts!"

As the door clicked behind him, the blood in her face drained, "Oh SHIT. I totally forgot about the meeting." She slammed her head on the desk and muffled her cussing. She felt like such a piece of trash. Why didn't she put that in her schedule? God... what a waste of a woman, she was. She picked herself up, grabbed her clipboard, and groaned all the way to the door. The lions wouldn't wait for such a useless woman, so... she would bury her shame in her work. Like she always did.

* * *

Allura's heels clicked on the tile as her rushed pace pushed her past groups of food station workers and tour guides. She moved to a collection of employee only paths and took the one headed straight into the thicket of the forest surrounding the regular walking trails. Her mind began to wander as she kept moving. The board meeting would last two hours as long as no one asked any questions. It would start at 4 and she promised to meet Shiro at 6. God, that would be a miracle in the making. She finally made it to the end of the path that expanded to the lion hold facility.

She entered the building in a rush and her interns greeted her with busy faces. Her favorite intern, Ezor, skipped to her, happily, with a coffee in hand, "Howdy, boss lady. Just in time to see Narti get some fresh air all by her lonesome. Olia said it would be good for her to stretch her legs once in a while."

Allura stopped dead in her tracks which didn't deter the limber young girl, "Did she get her vitamins this morning?"

Ezor smiled like sunshine, "Yes ma'am."

Allura took the coffee and smiled at the energetic woman, "How'd your test go?"

The girl's smile faded and Allura groaned and continued walking, "Ezzzzzor..."

She hopped to catch up and defend herself, "I passed, but a B is a F in the science world. I'm just not happy with myself. Thank you for the help on studying it, though."

Allura downed some of the coffee then smiled, "Physiological and Biochem in Zoology are pretty darn hard. Just speak to your professor and you may get some extra credit added to your final score." She stopped dead in her tracks again and turned to her intern, "Please don't offer to sleep with them like you did your Organic Chemistry teacher." Ezor smiled at the memory and Allura rolled her eyes, "Please tell Olia that I would like this outing on video. If she can get the drone up and running, that would be amazing. And you... wipe that smile off your face and DO NOT PROPOSITION YOUR TEACHER." Ezor laughed as she tutted her finger, "No promises, Boss." Allura laughed and made her way back to her office with an amused smile on her face.

* * *

Her day went by without a hitch, except for the fact that they couldn't fix the drone, but Olia got some great footage on her phone. 4 came around and the board meeting started. Her foot never stopped wagging under the table as they talked about budget and expected revenue. Boring stuff that came from the Wicked Witch's mind. Then, Merla, the keeper of the reptile house, started asking questions about renovations and it started an all out 'but what about me' war. She slammed her head into the table and looked at her phone. 6:05. She shut her eyes then stood straight up out of her seat causing everyone to look at her. She smiled, gathered her folders and paperwork then bolted out of the room. Her heels echoed in the empty hallways as she ran. She had to chase the shuttle just a bit, but he allowed her on.

Her heart was bouncing around her chest, madly. She hated being late to anything especially because of a greedy meeting. She was glad that her animals were one of the top 5 animals in the zoo, but having to listen to the others fighting for budget was unfair of the management. Unprofessional, she added in her mind. The shuttle stopped right near her complex and she hopped off into a frantic run. When she got to the stairs, it was 6:22. She clicked up the stairs and her heart sank. Shiro was leaning against his door in a casual dark charcoal suit staring down at his phone in his hand. His eyes suddenly cut up to see her and he gave a huge, relieved smile, "I was thinking about calling you, but I forgot we didn't exchange numbers so I've been foolishly hoping you knew mine."

She sloppily finished her climb and caught her breath, "I am so so so sorry. I totally forgot about our board meeting this afternoon. If it makes me look like less of a bitch... I worried all day long about it and even ran out of the meeting in my good heels."

God, did she want that man's smile to be wallet sized so she could carry it with her, everywhere. He pushed off the wall and dusted off his butt, "I had a feeling it was work related. I can wait here while you get your things together unless you aren't feeling up to it then I could just get my rain check now."

It was her turn to smile, "No. I'm going. I ran here, Shiro... in my good heels. I'll go put my stuff down and do something with this rat nest and I'll be right out. Thank you, by the way, for not losing faith in me."

He gave a bow as she moved to her door and did exactly what she said she would. When she came back out, Shiro led her to his sleek black 1964 Chevrolet c10 truck. He opened the door on her side and she pushed the hair from her face as she laughed at his, "M'lady." The inside of his truck was perfectly clean without a single blemish on it. She gave a low 'Wow' as she clicked her seat belt. When he got into his side, he buckled himself in and revved the engine with his gloved hand. She couldn't help but wonder why he wore it, "May I ask you a personal question?"

He looked over at her and with a dead serious tone he said, "No."

He broke it with a laugh as he maneavered out of the parking lot while smiling, "It's about the glove, right?"

She looked at him with an apologetic look and he nodded while watching the road, "I'll tell you about it when we aren't about to go eat food."

She felt foolish and totally understood why he wouldn't want to share such a personal story with someone he just met, so she broke the tension, "How long have you had this truck?"

He didn't look away from the road as a sad smile came over his face, "Since my father passed. He restored ol' Black, here down to the stitchings on the seats. I just keep her nice and healthy. She's the only thing I have left of my family."

She felt like she jumped right back into personal again, "I thought Keith was your brother. That's what Katie had said last night."

He looked over at her with shock, "You remembered that? Huh. Well, Keith's father was very good friends with mine. They were in the Air Force together. I was about 10 when Keith was born and 15 when my... We grew up calling each other brother for a long time."

As he watched the road, she watched his profile. There was something he wasn't saying, but it would be overly rude to ask him to open up. So, she played with the strap of her seatbelt and tried to salvage the mood, "Which resteraunt are we eating at?"

She looked over to see the small smile on his lips, "It's more of a sport's bar meets arcade meets fine dining. It's called The Space Mall. Pidge's roommate is a cook, there. He is going to culinary school here and... he is amazing."

Allura wasn't an overly protective person over people she just met, but she sniffed and asked, "Is Matt ok with Pidge having a male roommate?"

Shiro laughed wholeheartedly, "Hunk is one of the biggest teddy bears on this earth. If Matt had to make a list of roommates to room with his little sister... Hunk would be the only on it. Wait. You'll meet him. Then, you won't have any doubt."

* * *

Shiro pulled into a parking lot that led to another parking lot. When they got around a corner, the huge sign nearly blinded her. The Space Mall. There was a big planet with a space ship angled as if it were flying in front of it with rings of sport's balls orbiting around it. She gave a huge laugh at how big and how childish it looked. Shiro pulled into a parking spot and looked over at her, "Oh... It gets better."

They walked into a huge space of nothing but arcade games, pool tables, foozeball, and a huge screen for a shooting game. Allura's head was on a swivel as she took in how vast the place was. She followed Shiro to wall with was huge doorway that led to an area with walls made of TVs. Every type of game you could think of was on. Even the front of the long, U shaped bar had TVs on them. Booths and tables all had a huge tablet that had speakers for the frame. Each sitting area had one of those tablets with 'Choose Your Poison' written on them. The place was packed and the wings smelled amzing. But, Shiro kept moving. She jogged a bit to catch up as they went through one more doorway. She gasped at how completely different each area was.

The first thing she noticed was the small dance floor in the center. It had soft lighting and looked to rarely be used. Her ears caught the elegant music playing as they headed to a man behind a pedastal, "Good evening sir, how many?"

Shiro looked back at her briefly, "Two, please."

The man nodded, gathered two menus, and motioned to follow. The place looked like red velvet. Everything looked silky and warm. The air within this area had a crisp, flowery smell, but not too overpowering. It was quite grand. They were sat at a booth and were met with two glasses of water and a choice of wine. They both took a glass of Merlot and left to get a chance to find out what they wished to order. She looked at the menu and blinked, "Wow. This is both affordable and fancy. I'm impressed."

He took a swig of his wine, "I try. If you don't mind, though, may I order for you?"

She looked at him in awe, "How gentlemenly of you. Please."

He mockingly tipped his hat, "Thank you, ma'am."

The waiter came and he ordered for them both, "Can we both have the herb roasted lamb with roasted potatoes, fennel, and radishes with lemon brown butter sauce, please?"

She was impressed with the order and may or may not have drooled at the description. The waiter left with their order and that left them alone. Shiro cleared his throat and kept his voice low and soft, "I just want you to know that... I don't consider this a date, date. I just... I... I haven't been in a relationship longer than a month. I'm too over bearing or a workaholic or just not romantic enough... I try to change and..." He sighed as if something flew off his chest, "I just don't want you to think that I'm trying to wine and dine you to get you into bed or force you into an unwanted relationship. I just... I could see the stress of work on your face. I saw you were living alone and I just wanted to... help. I know how it feels to be all alone even when you're surrounded by people. Having that one friend you can talk to can make a huge difference."

She watched his stern face and took in all of his words. She was relieved, but disappointed, too. He really was a good guy. She smiled at him to reassure that she understood his actions, "And I really do appreciate your friendship. I did have a bit of a concern with tonight, but I seem to be quite comfortable with what you had planned. Thank you, for being honest with me, Shiro."

His worried face softened and gave a nod. She unwrapped her utensils and placed the cloth napkin upon her lap and looked back at him, "I've only slept with one man in my entire life, so I am completely clueless to the relationship game."

He looked at her, in shock but attentitive, and she licked her lips and stared at her wine cup readying herself. She wanted to tell him the honest truth, but she held back like she always did. She didn't tell him that she hid from the man she loved that she could never have their child. That she was a truely worthless woman. Instead, she avoided that single truth and just stuck to facts, "He was the only man I had ever loved. He cheated on me with who knows how many women. I mean, I'm really to blame since I didn't have sex with him as often as I should have, so... it was very much my fault. I didn't give him enough attention. I was... I was so wrapped up with the budget and my lions that when I actually had time to spend with him, I would fall asleep. I was such a lousy woman. Couldn't even please my lover. I was shocked when he proposed, but not as shocked as finding him in our bed with two other women. So, I kicked him out of my life and closed my heart away from everyone else and moved my entire being into my work. I knew... I could never..."

She felt the tears start to pool so she stopped and looked down at her hands, gripping the napkin in her lap. She wanted to finish that she 'could never have a family', but Shiro's voice sailed to her, "Love anyone else like you loved him... I'm sorry, Allura. I didn't mean to bring up such a sore subject." Though she smiled, the tears still fell. She felt so much better even though her chest was tight from the lie she kept. She just gazed at the man on the other end of the table with a grateful smile until the food came.

* * *

As they ate, they did what they had originally planned, they talked about work. Shiro had been tinkering with metal his entire life. He started with watching his father make swords as a kid. He loved the idea of men bending metal to their will. When his father died, Keith's father introduced him to a whole'nother world of metal... cars. After high school, he'd go help his new father at the garage and became obsessed with cars. He went to school for mechanical engineering, but tried added a minor of aeronautical to expanded his love to not just cars, but all forms of transportation. Planes, mainly. And that's where he became a pilot. He could fix anything with a motor and he could fly... that was a whole lot better story than hers, but she got to hear it and they had a really great time.

After they ate, Shiro asked for the chef, and a very big man walked out. He saw Shiro and he smiled while hurrying over. Shiro stood and seemed to plant his feet as if ready to be tackled. She wasn't wrong, per se... the huge Samoan swept him up in a warm hug like he was a pillow. The big lug held him a bit longer before looking at her and putting him down. He cleared his throat and tugged on his clothes before approaching her with the biggest, happiest smile she'd ever seen, "Hello. You must be Allura? Pidge was telling me about Shiro's beautiful new neighbor. I'm Hunk. Very nice to meet you." He stuck out a monster of a hand and Allura took it and was surprised by how gentle the hand shake was, "I've heard a bit about you, myself, Hunk. I would like to say that your roasted lamb was divine." He released her hand and his cheeks started to glow a little at being complimented. She saw it. She saw exactly why she should never worry about this huge marshmellow being roommates with Pidge. "Thank you. It always warms my heart to hear people enjoy my food. Come back, anytime, and I'll cook you anything you want. Just ask for me."

She smiled as she looked over at Shiro and was confused by his strained face. Before she had time to question it, Hunk scooped her up into a hug. She could hear the snickering of her neighbor before she was placed back on the floor, safely and a bit more warm than she was.

"I have to get back to work, but... it was good to meet you, Allura. Sorry about the spontaneous hug... I really do try to stop myself."

Allura laughed as she straightened her dress, "Don't worry about it Hunk... I actually needed one, to be honest. It was really great to meet you, too. Thank you for the wonderful meal. I'll definitely see you soon."

He gave Shiro a firm handshake and watched them leave. She turned around for a brief moment to wave at him and he retorted with a shaka sign.

* * *

They silently walked back through the other rooms until they got to the arcade. She didn't notice before, but there was a crane game with a very cute lion plush with planet and stars for the pelt and pink fur for the mane and tail. Shiro's sudden disappearance from her side caused her to stop and look around in worry. She heard coins clinking behind her and she saw him at the crane game where she just saw the lion. She rushed over just as the claws aimed just above the lion. She stared at his profile in disbelief. She felt the heat in her cheeks and the heaviness in her heart. He saw that she had interest and he acted upon it. She sighed her feelings out in a huff and helped with his aim, "You need to go to your left just a smidge. Little bit more. THERE."

He slapped the button and the claws descended. She moved to his side and both watched in anticipation. The claws closed around the lion, picked it up, and threw it in the hole. Allura cheered loudly and Shiro jerked his arms in the air. Shiro highfived her and they shared a hip bump then a laugh. He gestured to the lion, "All yours, Neighbor."

She took the lion out of the machine and hugged it. It was extremely soft and probably the most unproportioned lion she'd ever seen, but... she loved it, "Thank you, Shiro. He's lovely"

She felt as if thanking him wasn't enough. He had been nothing but an amazing man since she met him. She took in a deep breath and leaned against him and gave a quick peck on his cheek. He didn't pull away or flinch or even panic... just smiled his breathtaking smile then offered his arm to her, "You're welcome, m'lady." She cradled her lion to her chest and took his arm with the other and they went back to the truck.

* * *

"He walked me to my door, told me he had a wonderful time, we exchanged numbers, and he went back to his room. That's all. It really wasn't a date, date. Just a friendly meal with friends."

Ezor made a yuck noise while Lance shook his head. She knew these two only wanted a 'juicy' story told, but her love life was nothing like theirs. Lance took another bite of his chicken salad and looked at her, "So... he likes men? Can I get his number?"

Allura frowned, "He doesn't like men."

Ezor snorted, "Allura... you are like the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The LIONS want to have sex with you. You're just that pretty. Either this guy is gay or he has a very very deep trauma that's keeping him from asserting himself."

Allura poked at her salad and spoke to the food. It had been a solid week since then and he hasn't called or bumped into her since then, "He's hiding something from me, but... I don't know him well enough to pry. From what he has told me, he's had a lot of failed relationships but only because he doesn't act like himself. He tries to change for them and... it only strains him. Plus... his glove on his arm... he won't tell me what that is about. AND... he lost his mother and father to something. He won't tell me that either. I think they're all connected."

Ezor and Lance both shot out sass at the same time, "You Think?!"

She made a face at both of them and they high fived each other. Lance took a swig of his water and added, "You just need to be that friend he needs just like he's being that friend for you. Give it time. Give it time."

Ezor sipped at her shake and looked at Lance with an impressed look, "That is the most grown up advice I have ever heard you give, Otterbox."

He looked at Ezor with a proud smiled, "I've watched a lot of RomCom movies, OK? I listen. I learn."

At that, Ezor rolled her eyes and Allura just laughed at her two idiot friends.

* * *

Allura sat in her office and looked at her calendar. Narti was due in a week and she was due to breed the two other females in the pride. She leaned back in her chair and remembered bottle feeding Narti when she was a cub. She was as close to a baby as she was ever going to get. Why did she think that? Why did her inability to have children always punch her in the brain? She never told Lotor. She never even told her father. The only person who knew of her infertility was Coran. They were afraid that it was cancer, like her mother, but it turned out she had PCOS. She shut her eyes tightly and forced the thought right out of her mind. She told herself that she didn't want children, anyways, but deep inside... she regretted that she'd never have children of her own.

She focused back on Narti and her future cubs. She had the den prepared and all the cameras and drugs she believed was needed for the birth. It was her first litter and she was going to make DAMN sure that it was the smoothest it could be. Allura ran her hands through her hair to alleviate the stress that was building up in her skull and she looked at the time on her computer screen. She typed a few more sentences in the document she had popped up on her screen, then closed everything out and headed for the door.

Allura glided off the shuttle and calmly walked to her apartment complex. She could hear the sound of children's voices in the middle of playing and when she rounded to the parking lot, she saw four cute little girls drawing on the concrete with chalk. She gave enough space to not stop their conversation about a cartoon with ponies in it as they attempted to draw them with the chalk. As she made it to the stairs, sadness sliced at her heart. She ascended up the stairs with heavy legs. Her eyes fell to her neighbor's door, but saw no indication that it would open. Pining after a man while being sad she wasn't much of a woman was very sick. He deserved better. She couldn't unlock her door any faster as her mind attacked her. Her emotions were getting the best of her, again. She needed some ice cream... STAT.

She didn't even bother putting the ice cream in a bowl. She grabbed the small tub and a fork. Forks, she found, could pierce the frozen delight easier than a spoon, and since she wasn't planning on sharing... warming the fork up with her mouth and delving in wasn't a problem.

She folded her legs under her on the couch in the sweat pants and baggy hoodie she changed into after her shower and hugged the jug. She really needed something for this barren living room. It was dull and boring... she thought it before she could stop it... just like her. She stabbed the ice cream and her periferial caught something colorful. She looked over at the end of the couch at the lion Shiro won her. It made a smile form on her face. She sighed through her nose and took another bite of ice cream.

What was really underneath that skin tight glove of his? An alien prothestic? A zombie arm? A tattoo of all the women he's slept with? It was a mystery that she wanted to know. Her phone chimed with 'You Can Be a Big Pig Too... Unh' and she took it out of her sweat pant's pocket to see who texted her. It was Coran. He was checking in on her. She smiled and typed that she was doing well and that she was getting along 'swimmingly'. He ended the text convo quickly with his normal, call me if you need me, bit.

She put the lid back on the ice cream and put it back in the freezer. As she walked back to the living room, she noticed that a light shown down on her blinds of the window beside her door. It was a soft white light. It had gotten dark out early. It was only 6, but it felt like 8. She sighed through her nose, again, went back to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of green tea then headed outside. It felt warm out, but there was a cool breeze that was gentle and soothing. She closed her door and sat underneath her window and braced herself on the wall. The bustling sound of the city crackled and buzz while the faint sound of frogs, crickets, and cicadas slipped through from the woods behind the complex. It was just what she needed.

She heard two car doors close and two sets of feet coming up the stairs, Matt and Pidge came into view and her cheeks flaired with embarrassment as they stared at her. The two smiled at her and it somehow calmed her. Pidge headed towards her as Matt went to the door and knocked. Pidge went to her left side a sat down with a groan of appreciation, "Ahhh. That's better. You can really feel the breeze like this." Allura was shocked at how comfortable she was with the small woman. She nodded in agreement with her as Matt took to her other side in a scuffle of noise as he closed his eyes and took the breeze, "Yeah, we don't get this clean breeze at our house. It's all smog."

She looked between the two siblings and smiled, "So, what brings you to our clean side of town?"

Matt sighed, "I was worried about Shiro. He hasn't been picking up, lately, so I thought he had fallen into one of his bouts of depression. He gets those a lot and will close himself up to everyone. Not his fault. I mean, the trauma he sustained losing his family would make anyone like that."

Allura's heart sunk as Pidge added, "He doesn't sleep too well because of the nightmares and his health goes straight to hell."

Matt looked at her and she could see the love he had for her neighbor, it was like Shiro had another brother to add to his family, "He hasn't told you about it, has he?"

She shook her head, "No. And I didn't want to pry. We all have our secrets we don't want to tell, so I understand."

Matt smiled softly, but there was a sadness to it, "He relives his nightmares over and over. He doesn't want to be a burden to others, so he keeps it bottled up. His first girlfriend left him because she couldn't take it. Watching him break. The other women he was with, were either too shallow to accept him or too distant. He just stopped trying all together. Friends. That's what he believes he needs, but... sometimes you just need to know that someone will be there for you. Keith, my sis, and I can't be there for him all the time. He needs someone."

Allura heard the story about Shiro's love life in a different point of view and her heart sank. He kept thinking that it was all his fault, but to his friends... it was the women he was with. She swallowed deeply and they stayed in silence for a moment. Pidge spoke up, trying to alleviate the depressed state they had gotten in, "Heard you met my roommate. Hunk told me you were as nice as you were beautiful. He really wanted all of us to come see him."

Matt laughed, "Hunk would not shut up about how you and Shiro looked like Lady and the Tramp."

All three laughed and Matt cleared his throat, "Well, Shiro must be at the airport either doing a quick fly over or working on the planes. He does that for a little extra cash after work. Would you care to join us for a meal, Allura? Pidge just got some extra cash of her own after reprogramming a drone for one of her friends at school. It's on HER, tonight"

Something clicked in Allura's mind and smiled just as Pidge chimmed in, "Oh, YES. Allura's meal IS on me... but my big bro has money of his own." Matt groaned and Allura laughed, "I would be delighted to join you, both. Thank you."

Pidge rubbed her hands together, "That means, we get to dish the dirt and get to know our friend's new neighbor."

Allura faked a horrified look, "I changed my mind."

Matt and Pidge hopped up and amusingly spoke at the same time while picking her up by each of her arms, "Oh No You Don't."

* * *

When the three of them entered the fancy part of the restaurant, Allura got stunned staring. Where the small dance floor was the last time she was here, there was a small orchestra and people waltzing. She had to be brought back to reality by a tap from Pidge and they all headed towards the back. They got to the bar where every stool was free, and sat smack dab in the middle. The bartender turned around in a professional manner, but when she saw Matt and Pidge, she smiled very big and made a rather happy squeal, "Heeeey! Wow, Matt, I haven't seen you in ages. Pidge... how are you doing after getting slaughtered in Scrabble, last night."

The two smiled and Pidge leaned towards her, her elbows on the bar, "You cheated and you KNOW IT. But... I finally get to see you in your bartender outfit! Hunk always talks about how sexy you look in it. I would say he has had a few panic attacks thinking about you in it."

The girl blushed and shook her head, "He is too much of a gentlemen to talk like that. Oh. I'm sorry." The bartender just now noticed her and Allura gave a small wave just as Pidge introduced them, "Oh. Dude. Sorry. Allura, this is Shay, Hunk's girlfriend slash coworker. Shay, this is Allura... Shiro's new neighbor. We were just hanging out with her... making her feel more uncomfortable about meeting us."

Allura shook her head at the little woman's humor and she reached over the bar to shake Shay's hand, "Nice to meet you, Shay. I am probably better at making them feeling uncomfortable better than they make me." She gave a sly look and the bartender laughed and added, "These two dorks are some of the best people I know. A friend of theirs is always a friend of mine so... it's nice to meet you too, Allura."

They all sat at the bar and talked about their generalized lives. Matt was an accountant for a firm not but two blocks down from the zoo. He was the most sought after number cruncher in the whole city. He did kickboxing after every shift and, though she couldn't tell because of his baggy clothing, he was top of his class. Pidge was a junior in college and was going for computer engineering with a minor in chemical engineering. She was two years younger than Hunk, but they were in the same year. Pidge was one of the smartest people she had ever met and it triggered something in her mind, "Hey, Pidge, how much did you charge to fix your friend's drone? I have one at my work that could use a little fixing and I'm thinking about hiring you."

Pidge gave a huge smile, "You need my people to call your people?" She snorted at her joke, "I can come over tomorrow. I only have my night class."

Allura smiled, "You're hired."

Pidge sipped at the straw in her cup, "I'll even give you a friend discount... 20 bucks."

Allura looked at her, "You don't even know how extensive the damage is."

Pidge looked at her and smiled, "I'm just that good."

Hunk came out a few minutes later and hugged his girlfriend from behind, making the bartender blush. He was then bombarded with love for his food and he blushed. He looked at Allura and moved to be in front of her and they started talking. She learned that culinary school was insane. Hunk majored in culinary arts, nutrition, and hospitality management. He was stressed, but he loved what he did. The school was teaching him how to run his own business, in the end. Shay was in the same classes as he was and that's how they met. She couldn't get the chef position so she took classes to become a full fledge bartender. They were very cute together and Allura could tell they were in love.

The night ended with lots of lovable goodbyes. As they were walking to Matt's car, his phone buzzed. He took it out and popped his lips, "Looks like Shiro just landed from his tourist run. He's very sorry for worrying us."

Pidge flapped her lips with a burst of air, "He's gonna work himself into an early grave."

Allura hopped into the backseat as the siblings took the front and she felt sad for a moment. Shiro did exactly what she did when depression kicked in... focused on their work. She realized, as they headed back to the apartment, that they had too much in common.

* * *

The next day, Pidge met Allura at the entrance. Pidge whistled at her, "Wow... you look like you're about to accept an academy award or something. You dress like this, everyday?"

Allura flicked her hair in a mock fashion, "Dress for success, m'dear."

Pidge laughed and shoved her hands into the pockets of her overalls she was wearing, "I do."

Allura showed her around. She signed off for her vistor pass and took her to the employee only side. She made it to the breakroom with a hitch, until Lance popped up. He did a double take and looked at Allura, "Who's the child?"

Pidge didn't even let a heartbeat of a second pass, "I was about to ask her the same question."

Lance squinted at the unmovable girl and gave a smile, "I like her. She's got spunk. But seriously, who are you?"

Pidge looked at her and she gave the 'go right ahead' gesture, "I'm an internal spy for the Italian government. I've come here to see which dumbass needs to be demoted to janitor for being too nosy instead of getting to work. I think I have the perfect canidate."

Lance pointed and openned his mouth only to close it was a growl before grabbing his things in a huff and leaving. Allura laughed, "Italian government?"

Pidge hummed and shrugged. Allura shook her head and they both moved to the lion's den. She introduced Pidge to her interns before asking Olia to bring the drone to her office. She cleared off her desk as best as she could to let Pidge have a working space. Olia knocked and Allura waved her in, "Olia, this is Pidge. Anything she needs, you get for her. I will make sure that all your responsibilities are taken care of, just please focus on her for the moment." Olia saluted and Pidge mocked her. By the end of the day, the drone was working, Pidge was twenty dollars richer, and everything was set up for Narti's birth in a few days. It had only taken Pidge an hour to fix the drone so she hung out with Olia and her interns for the rest of the day. Pidge helped them reconfigure a lot of the software they used and even helped with one of the automatic locks on the cages. Allura was starting to think that maybe she needed Pidge around a whole lot more.

* * *

The next day went by in a boring blur. The only highlight of her day was that Narti was showing signs of going into labor, so she had all the cameras on and the techs and veterinarian's on site before she left for the night. This was really draining her, but the excitement of her baby having babies got her energized. She bounced off the shuttle and got to the parking lot where she saw a familiar truck and car. She was almost positive that she was about to cash her rain check in for a lawn chair outside the apartment. When she made it to the middle of the stairs, her smile brightened at her rightness. Matt, Pidge, Shiro, and Keith were outside chatting away like old women gossiping. The four acknowledged her with waves and nods and Shiro popped open a chair beside him.

Without so much of a blink, she rounded it and sat. Everyone was looking her way so she spoke without so much of a thought, "So, do we wait for someone to play their guitar before we start singing Kumbaya, or just go acapella?"

She made them all laugh, except for Keith, who looked like he really wanted to hurt her. It made her a bit nervous. Matt and Pidge said something to the murderer as Shiro leaned over and whispered to where only she could hear, "Keith just has a very intense look all the time. It's not you."

She whispered out a 'Whew' while making a motion of wiping her forhead before she whispered back, "Thank God. I thought I was going to have to update my will."

Shiro let out a small laugh as the other three turned to them as Keith spoke with a soft voice that totally didn't match his face, "So, Allura, it seems like you've had adventures with everyone but me. I have to say, I'm a bit jealous."

Allura used her awkwardness to retort, "I've never been to Hawaii. We could try that."

She felt her heart vibrate at the smile that came on Keith's face. He was very handsome when he smiled and it made her wonder if Keith and Shiro weren't really related. He leaned back, "Rain check." It caused her and the others to laugh and she felt more relaxed then she ever had. They chatted for hours about teams, movies, work, and just random things in general. They laughed and debated until it got later into the night.

* * *

Keith was the first to break up the group. He had to get up at 4am for his baseball regime. Running and calisthenics were just the beginning. She wasn't too surprised that he was an athlete, but she was shocked that he was an almost celebrity in this city. They all said goodnight. Matt and Pidge were next. Unlike Keith, who just waved, the two siblings hugged her. She wasn't too used to physical contact, but the hugs were both warm and friendly. The two bid them a good night and left her and Shiro all alone.

She turned to see the gloved man gathering the camping folded chairs and bunching them up into their holders. She grabbed the one she was sitting in and took the time of an amateur just as he packed the other three. He laughed at her as he opened his door and put the three behind it. She tossed the one she packed and used a fluid motion to slide it behind the door. She put her hands behind her back and took in a deep breath, "Well, neighbor, I feel like I've been learning stuff about you behind your back."

He leaned against his door frame and looked confused, "How so?"

"Well, for one, you're a pilot on the side. I thought you just worked on planes, not fly them."

He looked down, relieved it looked like, "Well, I have a skill, and I need money."

She smiled but it slowly leaked off. He was still hiding something. She sighed and was about to question him about his arm, his nightmares, his lies about the women, but... her phone buzzed. She took it out and she felt her insides freeze. Without a word, she bolted down the stairs.

* * *

Allura ran full speed, in her tennis shoes, straight through the zoo to get to the lion's section. She was a blur of white and pink. The text she got from one of the vet techs was that Narti was in a very bad condition. When she made it to the compound, she stopped and tried to even out her breathing and slow her heartrate. She was in full panic mode. Everything was moving too slow and it was causing her frustrations to spike. Narti was going to be ok... and so were her cubs. With a final grunt, she flung the door open to see a group of her techs and the veterinarian talking. She moved in and the door closed to make them all look back at her. One of the techs pointed at her and said something to the vet and he looked grim and nodded. He headed towards her and she tried looking past him to where Narti was, "Miss Romelle, may I have a word with you in private?"

She looked at him with a cold shiver all over and she tried to talk with a calm and collected voice, "How is she?"

He swallowed and took in a deep breath, "Please. If we could speak i...

Allura's voice was loud and full of a fearful mother, "JUST TELL ME HOW SHE IS!"

The vet looked around and cleared his throat, "Your technicians observed her behaviors of extreme pain. They went to the pen and noted a horrid stench of decay. She was lost color in her gums then fell over with a black oozing pouring from her vagina. By the time she could open the gates... it was too late. Sh... She's gone, Miss Romelle. Her cubs had rotted inside her an..."

Allura couldn't breath. Everything was closing in. Stabbing and slicing and suffocating her. Disbelief turned into terror. Before he could finish speaking, she yanked open the door and ran. She didn't remember getting on the shuttle. She didn't remember getting to her apartment. She didn't even make it to her door before she crumbled to the concrete. Her knees caught all her momentum, but she couldn't feel the pain. She buried her face into her hands just in time to catch her overflowing emotions. Her scathing sorrow poured out of her like a shook soda. Her mother, her father, her lioness, her cubs... all she ever seemed to do was lose everything. She had no defense for the darkness that crept into her heart and swallowed her whole. She screamed into her hands as everything became too much.

Her wailing took away all her senses and even stole the air from her lungs. It felt like her soul was tearing at her insides and her mind was screaming for someone to help her. To take her away from all of this. To just stop the pain... to put her out of her misery... to bring Narti and her cubs back to life. Her nose was running badly and her eyes were burning and she clutched herself tighter and tighter. Her name being called along with a gloved hand came to her ear. Her name got their first then the gloved hand wiped the hair that stuck to her face behind it. Her burning eyes shot open as wide as her swollen flesh would allow and they focused on the scar then to the overly concerned eyes before the bouts started all over again. This time, she was pulled off her knees and into the arms of Shiro. He cradled her into his chest like a hurt child. He soothed her with sweet hushes and gentle strokes on her back as she bawled openly and unapologetically.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

Ok... so, I killed Narti... again. I felt soooo bad. T_T

So, like the last time, I do not own any characters from Voltron. I have NO beta. AND there is a mention of a threesome. Sorry... Not sorry. ^^

But please. Do Enjoy.

* * *

Allura's heavy eyes blinked open to the darkness of her bedroom. She felt empty. Completely hollowed out like a shell. She couldn't remember how she got here, but the memory of her losing Narti didn't abandon her. She collapsed into the darkness again, rolling into a fetal position and squeezing her knees to her chest. The sudden attack of light illuminated against the back of her eyelids. She squinted and started to panic as the sound of movement hit her ears. She shot up to see Shiro with a tray and a bowl on top that was steaming with a glass and a bottle of green tea to balance it out.

He looked at her with a bit of fear at her quick motion, "S-Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I... I had called Coran last night, but he never answered. He called me back a few minutes ago. He should be here soon, but... I made you some warm soup. You should eat something... and warm soup was always a comfort to me, so..." He placed the tray on the small dresser and sat in the fancy chair in the corner beside the bed, "... I'm sorry for intruding. I heard you... crying. I held you until your sobs stopped then took you into your bed. I left your clothes on but removed your shoes. ... I... I just couldn't leave you like that. I brought you into your apartment because I didn't think you'd want the shock of being in some alien bedroom. If. If you need to talk... I'm willing to listen."

She looked to the soup back to him, numb and tired. His voice was so careful it almost annoyed her. Pity... she'd been pitied enough in her life, but... she also knew there was more than pity. He was geniunely worried about her. She looked up at him and knew the tears were there. She sniffed grossly before her trembling voice finally reached her mouth, "I lost my lion. I lost my lion and her cubs. I raised her from a baby and I wanted nothing but for her to florish. I lost her. I... I..." She rushed her hands to hide her face and couldn't stop the emotions from pouring out. The pressure of him sitting on the bed and hugging her frame didn't register until it was too much to hold in. She buried her face in his neck as she gripped at the fabric of his shirt.

His soft whispers tickled at the front of her face, "I'm so sorry, Allura. I'm so sorry." He pressed his lips on the top of her head and held it there as he held her closer. When the sound of the door being kicked open and Coran's voice singing out, Shiro pulled away from her. He rubbed her upper arm as he stood just as Coran rushed in with a very concerned, father face.

* * *

The three moved to the living room. Coran held her hands in understanding silence as Shiro leaned against the kitchen island. She was mentally exhausted. And what was worse was that Shiro had to see it... what a complete mess she was. If he ever talked to her outside again, she would know it was out of pity. That made her face squish into a despairing look. She let out a sigh to show she was letting it out before she attempted to speak, "Thank you. Both. I really needed this. But please, I'm going to be ok. I'll just take a nice hot shower and sleep this day off."

Coran frowned under his mustache but nodded. He kissed her temple and stood from the couch to look back at Shiro. Understanding the man's body language, Shiro pushed off the island and stopped where she sat. He put his gloved hand on her shoulder and smiled sadly at her before following Coran out.

She could hear there muffles voices outside but decided she wasn't in the mood to eavesdrop. Time was moving slower, she just realized. Getting to her shower felt like it took her all night. When she turned it on, got out of her clothes, and stood under the scalding water... it felt like time froze. The sorrow built as the steam filled the small room. She cried, again, because her thoughts drifted to Narti and her mother. She could hear the echo of her whimpers as her mother's face came to mind. How could she face anyone tomorrow? She sniffled and mentally slapped herself. She talked to herself, out loud, and it drummed off the walls like bass from a speaker, "You're gonna man the hell up and go back to work. You have the other lions to take care of. You're done mourning. Time to focus on the living and not the..." she stopped and refused to finish it.

She washed her hair and body and turned off the water. When she toweled off, she found herself a little more manageable. She got into her sweat pants and hoodie and moved back to the living room to get her phone. She continued to towel dry her hair as she reached down to get her phone. The blue light slowly flashed to signal she had a message. It was Shiro. She slowly sat on the couch and let the towel hang on top of her head as she read the short message, "Goodnight, Allura. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you, Shiro. Sorry that knowing me got snot on your shirt."

She waited a few seconds for a reply, but nothing came. She sighed and locked her screen. As she flipped her hair and twirled it within the towel, her Big Pig tone made her jump. She unlocked and smiled at his reply, "If it makes you feel any better, I've been accepted into the OK category of Coran's list. He gave me a stern talk and a hearty handshake. I feel like I was knighted."

She laughed softly, "Welcome to the brotherhood, Sir Shiro."

She could hear him chuckle behind the wall and got a quick response, "Sleep well."

She felt a warmth to that message and she smiled before yelling, "GOOD NIGHT."

She heard him laugh before yelling it back. She stood up, staring at the wall like an idiot before turning off the lamp of the living room and heading to bed. She stared up at her ceiling and the tears pooled into her eyes. She didn't let the sorrow swallow her up, but she did let it tire her into sleep.

* * *

Allura felt like her insides had gotten heavier and it made her walk to the lion's compound almost unbearable. When she did get there, she stopped and stared at the door. It was still very much an open, bleeding, throbbing wound of losing Narti and she could feel the tears building up, again. What was she going to say to her team? What COULD she say? They all did such an amazing job, yet... they lost her. She gathered herself and grabbed the knob. When she pulled it open, she gasped. Her entire team were all gathered and waiting for her. They all wore black and looked to have been crying. It made the tears come back as she slid inside and joined her team in mourning.

Videos, photos, and words were shared about the lioness. Honerva had a plaque made for the enclosure and would have it installed next week. The team had said their goodbyes and had given their animal all the honor she deserved then they all switched gears. It was mating season and they had two other lionesses to focus on. She didn't want to forget Narti, but she had a job to do. Her interns divided to clean the enclosure as she spoke with the nutritionists about upping vitamins and protein for the soon to be pregnant lions. By mid-day, she sat in her office and chastised herself about worrying. She loved her team and was blessed to have them.

The day drew to an end and she wasn't as heavy. She got to the main lobby where she was shocked to see Lance waiting for her. She slowed down a little and saw Pidge right beside him. Now she was suspicious, "Well... THAT'S not a good sign. You two, together, I mean."

Pidge punched Lance in the arm, "He's not so bad, once you get past the smell of fish."

Lance's voice cracked as he defended himself, "I work with Otters!"

Pidge looked at Allura with a joking look, "Yeeeeah... Otters. Sure."

Lance grumped and Allura laughed at them before finally catching up to where they were, "What do I owe this visit to, Pidge? And why is Lance with you?"

Lance gave a sad but sweet smile as Pidge shrugged, "Shiro told us that you lost your lion yesterday so I just came to check on you. The guys at the front gate couldn't contact you due to a complication, so I didn't push it. I came back when I knew you'd be off and I ran into him. Told him that a few friends were gonna take you out for a 'Cheering Up' party and he wanted to come. He's a damn leech and I couldn't shake him off."

Her heart melted and she smiled at the both of them, "Thank you, Pidge... Lance. I'd be honored."

Pidge pushed her hair back out of her face and waved her arm for the two of them to follow her, "Oh. Well, I can't go, unfortunately, night classes, but my brother got someone to take my place..."

She followed the small woman to the parking lot and she started to laugh. Standing up in the back of Shiro's black truck were Hunk, Shay, Keith, Matt, Shiro, and... Coran? Her second father sat on the edge and was smiling at her as Hunk and Shay were standing and waving with their charasmatic energy. They all jumped out and greeted her with hugs. She nearly cried, again, not because she was sad, but because of the love for her new friends.

* * *

She introduced everyone to Lance. He shook hands as their names were given to him and she couldn't help but nudge him as he stared at Keith, "No. Lance. Noooo." Lance grumped and she shook her head in amusement. Pidge grabbed her bags out of Matt's car before giving her a hug. She whispered how sorry she was about Narti. They exchanged numbers before she ran off to catch the bus to the college. Hunk yelled a few things and Pidge gave some hand gestures before they all divided into cars.

Allura wasn't at all surprised by their destination. She rode in the car with Matt, Coran, and Lance while Hunk, Shay, and Keith rode with Shiro. Keith rode in the back of the truck. Matt, Lance and Coran spoke about language barriers. They shared stories about their family members from other countries. She didn't feel left out at all. She felt... happy. She could feel the loving energy around her and, as she stuck her head out the window to feel the cooled breeze tickle her scalp, she had never felt as if this was where she belonged as she did in that moment.

When they pulled in, she had a curious moment of everyone gathering at the back of Shiro's truck and pulling stuff out of huge cargo bags. It was suits and fancy shoes for the boys as Shay pulled out a dress covered in plastic. She looked at Coran and he just wiggled his mustache and took the suit and shoes handed to him. She looked around at everyone and shook her head, "What do you guys have planned, tonight?"

Everyone of them spoke in unison as they drew out the consonants, "I... Don't... Know..."

Shay handed her a pair of gorgeous pink heels that were hanging from her two fingers and smiled down at her. Allura took off her tennis shoes and slipped the perfectly sized heels on and followed the group into the Space Mall. All the men split from the two ladies to the nearest bathroom. Shay hooked her arm around hers and pulled her to the fancy section. As they entered, Allura was floored by how different the place looked. The small little dance floor had expanded to a ballroom floor. There were people of all shapes, sizes, and colors splayed around, dancing with their significant others with a pretty well sized orchestra. There were more instruments added then the last time she was here.

Shay leaned into her, "Welcome to Dance Night. Actually... it's every night. This place turns into Dancing With the Stars when the sun goes down. They do salsa, tango, foxtrot, and waltz. We get people from beginners all the way up to world champs. I mean, this is probably the biggest time of day we have. It's where me and Hunk learned how to dance. Tonight we're slow dancing to sensually slow music. A perfect time for you and Shiro to share a moment together."

Allura's neck almost popped out of joint by how fast she looked over at the bartender, "WH-WHAT? No... No... Me and Shiro have already decided that we are on a friend statis. We don't need any kind of moment together."

Shay's face was worn and almost sad as she moved to be face to face with her, "Allura..." The woman bent her head down a took a few breaths before looking up at her with sentimental eyes, "Please don't give up on him. He's a great guy and you're a great girl. I'm sorry to throw assumtions that I know you very well, but the moment that I met you... I saw a sadness in you. The same type of sadness inside of Shiro. Y... you both seem like you need each other. You both have whatever the other is missing. From what I've seen, you're smart and kind and warm. Everything that Shiro needs."

Allura could feel the heat fogging over her face and knew she was blushing hard. She couldn't say anything in her defense before the group of guys began to join them. Shay let out a 'Wow' while Allura whistled a catcall, "Wow, fellas... looking good." Hunk and Lance seemed to have hit it off pretty well since they both began to Vogue in a serious but joking manner. Shay, Matt, and Coran shook their heads as her eyes found Shiro. Her heart missed a few beats as he found her gaze and gave her his inside-melting smile.

Hunk clapped his heavy hands together and explained what was happening, "Tonight is we DANCE. Beginners are supposed to dance on the sides while professionals take the center. There are people who stand along the walls who are looking for partners so don't be afraid to ask someone to dance. Now... with that... may I have this dance, Miss Allura?"

She was not expecting that so the shock on her face made everyone laugh. Hunk extended his hand and she took it. The band played an easy going song and Hunk was a fantastic dancer. She followed and flowed and just let all her cares melt away. She couldn't stop laughing. She felt stings that reminded her that her animal died, but Hunk's spinning and humming to the song made it almost impossible to stay sad.

Just when the song was about to change, Hunk pushed her off with one hand gently clasping her own and passed it off to another hand... Matt's. It was another time to laugh at the shock on her face, but he didn't let her think about it as he pulled her along to his rhythm. He was less forceful and more agile. She could feel the wind of their speed as they twirled along. Matt twirled her and she couldn't help lean against him. He blushed, but continued to dance circles around the others.

She was passed to Lance next. His was slower and relaxed. It was nothing like his personality. It was then that she noticed that no one spoke to her as they danced. Lance didn't even look like he wanted to chat. He smiled at her occasionally, but just concentrated on the beat. Before his turn was up, he dipped her then pulled her back up with a twirl right into the arms of Keith.

As intense as he could be, he was the most gentle and supporting of the others. His fingers were light on her back, but she felt the power behind them. When he led, he used an impossible to ignore energy. He didn't smile, but he didn't frown either. He was just in the moment and that made her focus on the enjoyment of everyone else around them. At the end of his turn, he gave bow and as soon as he released her hand, Coran took it from behind her.

He twirled her and held her like a teacher does his student. She took in a really deep breath and stopped the tears from forming. Coran was the first one to speak to her and it draped over her like a fog, "I wish your mother was here to see the wonderful people you've met. They are absolutely amazing. They just met you and treat you like they've known you all their lives. It's what every parent would want for their child... their own family. You've found it, 'Lura. You found it."

She put her head on his shoulder to hide the tears and they continued to dance until the song changed again. Her tears were dried and she was enjoying the dance, again, before Coran stepped away and smiled before saying very softly, "Be sure to enjoy this one." He spun her in his arms to where her back was against his chest and he let go of her as her eyes fell to her last dance of the evening... "May I have this dance, m'lady?"

She smiled, stepped forward, and they took the hand that was offered, "Sir Shiro... you can fly AND dance? Is there nothing you can't do?"

Shiro stepped forward and pulled her closer as he led her like a true professional as he spoke behind his smile, "Cook."

They shared a brief laugh before Shiro's voice changed to a concerning friend, "I'm really glad you're having a good time, Allura. I was worried about you being alone after your loss. I... I didn't want it swallowing you up."

She moved away from him allowing them to look into each others eyes. She spoke past her emotions to really say what she meant, "It would've. I would probably be locked up in my apartment and would have never come out if not for you. I'm very grateful for all this. I'm gra-grateful for having you in my life. Thank you, Takashi. For everything. Really... thank you."

They had stopped dancing and she noticed how close they were. His gaze was unreadable in the dim light, but her heartrate sped up drastically. She realized how personal they both got and knew this was not a normal circumstance. She wanted him to say something. She wanted him to crush her against him. She wanted him to confess the reason why he wore that glove and come clean about his nightmares. But, all he did was start dancing again yet he refused to look at her. It wasn't but a few steps after that that the song stopped and he left her on the dancefloor, staring after him, with her heart in her hands... gasping for air. The hollowness returned as she stood, all alone, and the tears drained down her cheeks.

* * *

The car ride was a static filled bundle of nerves. It was just Matt and Coran since Lance lived closer to Keith than to her home so he rode with them. They said nothing as they drove back to the zoo. They pulled into the parking lot where they had all met up. The three of them sat in silence for a few ticks before Coran cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Everything happens for a reason, 'Lura. Everything. Terror. Loss. Heartache. They are but just a few things that make you realize that you're still alive. Allura... You are the strongest woman I've ever known and your mother would've agreed with me, tenfold. The part of being mortal is that we can lose the one's we love either through circumstance or death. It's our curse. But... I've known you long enough that I know you'll keep moving forward. You have wonderful friends, now." He slapped and grabbed Matt's shoulder and he smiled, "Don't forget that."

His eyes cut to her in the backseat and smiled at her. Tears rolled down her cheek before he opened the car door and gathered his case and suit jacket he had taken off at some point, "Matthew, here, wanted to take you home. So, goodnight, my dear. I cherish you."

She sniffled at what her mother used to say to her as a child, "I ch-cherish you, too." With a nod to Matt, he closed the door and moved towards his car not too far away. She looked up at Matt's eyes in the rearview and he let out a soft, "He is an amazing man, that Coran. Smart, funny, and loyal to a tee. You're lucky to have him."

She smiled deeply and nodded, "He was more of a father to me than my own. After he... after he lost his wife and child in childbirth... he tried to commit suicide. My-my mother stopped him. She talked him right out a pistol. He was going to shoot himself in the park, but... my mother, walking home from a long day at the hospital, she saw him. Stayed with him. Told him exactly what he just told me. The pain is proof that we're alive. Everything happens for a reason. Live..." She sat back into the cushion and spoke sadly at the happy memories after the horrible ones, "My parents and Coran were best friends after all that. He was practically a part of my family. He practically raised me. He never let me out of his sight. I... I cherish him because he was there when I lost my mother... when my father went insane... when I needed a place to call home. Oh. Sorry Matt... I started to ramble."

She noticed that he had them on the road as he glanced at her from the mirror, quickly, "No worries. It was actually pretty insightful. He treats everyone like their his child and now I know the reason. He's a really great guy."

"Yes he is."

Matt looked at her from the rearview mirror once in a while before he finally found the courage to ask, "Soooo... what happened on the dance floor?"

Allura looked out the window so he couldn't see her tighten her eyes shut in complete disappointment, "I thanked him and told him how much I enjoyed him being a part of my life. He stared at me and then bolted. It was like I shot a gun up in the air to scare off an animal."

She could hear Matt grumble and mumble. She felt her stomach sink at the thought of Shiro's face on the dancefloor. She banged her head on the window before Matt spoke louder and with an anger not directed at her, "He may look like a handsome, strong fighter, but he's an absolute coward. Instead of standing and facing a simple thank you... he runs like the scared little, forgive my language, PUSSY that he is." He spits out his rage with a muted growl. She knew he didn't mean any ill will to his friend. As a matter of fact, this proved just how much Matt loved his friend. He slaps the steering wheel. It, oddly, made her smile. Matt wasn't just on Shiro's side... he was on her side, too. He wanted them to both be happy.

* * *

The next time he spoke was when he pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex. He turned around and his voice was softer and calmer, "Please don't give up on him. I said that to you the last time, too. Yeah... I-I know it sounds like I'm desperately trying to set you up with my best friend, but... I want you to know that... that's not the case. If I can't be there for him... If Keith or Pidge or Hunk or Shay can't be there for him... I can see you being there and it-it calms me. We talked about his trauma the last time, but... it's more than what I made it out to be. Everything stems from his childhood instead of the women he slept with. One very particular moment of his childhood made him the utter mess that he is, now. It tore him apart mentally... and physically. I promised him I'd never tell the story to anyone, so... I'm going to keep that promise. Yet, I will tell you this. He hates pity. He hates over-trying sympathy. When he... when he tells you the story... stay true to yourself. Don't fake. Don't overreact. Just... be in that moment with him. Be there to anchor him in the present so he doesn't sink back into the past."

She swallowed at how insanely intense the conversation got. Shiro had a lot of baggage. That's what Matt was trying to tell her. He saw something in her that he knew would be good for his friend and though she was flattered... she was terrified. She had baggage too. She looked up at Matt and nodded curtly, "I understand."

He smiled and was about to turn around, but something came over her. This man kept Shiro's secret so why couldn't he keep hers, "Matt. You're very good at keeping secrets for your friends... you mind having one more?"

* * *

Allura gave a wave to Matt and felt a little bit lighter. Her confession to Matt about being unable to have children shocked him more than anything. She explained why and that he was only the second person to know this secret. He didn't treat her any different. He solemnly apologized to her for her sorrow. She remembered his face when she asked him if Shiro wanted to have children. He looked her right in the eye with a mixture of regret for her and certainity for Shiro then told her, though he loved children, he never found the right one to have them with. She groaned loudly, where she stood, causing dogs in the neighborhood to start barking. Of course he wanted children. That'll be a great story to tell him just to get to see his disappointed and sudden disinterested face.

As she nearly stomped to the stairs, her eye caught the sight of his truck and she fought the burst in the pit of her stomach. She climbed the stairs and saw no evidence that he was outside. She fiddled with her keys. There were 5 of them. One for her apartment, one for Coran's house, one for the Lion's den, one for the Nutrition hut, and one... for her father's house. She looked down at the overused key before finding the pink key for her apartment. She slipped the key in and heard a click, but it wasn't her door, she hadn't turned the key. She felt the air stick to her lungs as Shiro stepped half way outside his door, "Allura? Hey. Ummmm. Can... can I talk to you for a minute?"

She turned her key and unlocked the door. She swallowed down her heart, that was trying to escape through her throat, before trying to talk all sophisticated, "What is there to talk about? I thanked you. You left me on the dance floor. We moved on. End of discussion." She looked over at him and nearly gasped at how dishieveled he looked. Like he had been pacing his room for days even though it was but less than an hour ago.

His eyes fell from her gaze and he looked even more miserable. A part of her angry side felt like leaving him just like that. Exactly like he left her on the dancefloor. Dejected and foolish, but... her compassionate side jumped in. She let out a defeated groan and cleared the space between them. She stood right in front of him with a heated stare, "Go on. Your minute started a while ago."

He sighed out a chuckle and started off, "I'm sorry. You're right, I panicked, but I never meant to hurt you. Look. I haven't been completely honest with you... about the other women I was with. They were... more or less a means of release. I stopped trying to find that one women to be with a long time ago and just... just started to sleep my way through bad memories. The moment they saw the real me, I was either bombared by sympathy... or disgust. I di-didn't want pity. I just needed sex. I stopped looking for love. Thought... I didn't need it. You... this is gonna sound cliche, but... you were different from all the others. You're funny and sweet and you always look up when everyone else is looking down. I don't want to ruin this... what we have. This friendship means a lot to me... but..." He gripped his gloved arm at the elbow and dropped his gaze, again. As if this 'but' was going to be the death of him. She braced herself as he barely whispered out, "... but, I... keep falling for you and it scares me."

Her eyes are wide and her mouth is slightly dry. Di... did he just confess to her? He met her eyes with his and she shook her head to break the awe she was stuck in, "Y-you... you're falling for me? Mister... not looking for love anymore? This..." She couldn't stop smiling but she was terrified more. She wasn't ready. She was utterly confused and her chest was tight and she had to know, "So... what are you telling me, Shiro? Th-that you want to pursue me or you want me to pretend you didn't just confess to me? Wh-What's happening?"

"I..."

She mentally screamed at him to not run. To not leave her. Give her an answer. Be strong and look her in the eye and tell her what he wanted. DAMMIT SHIRO... MAN UP!

"I don't want you to pretend, but I do need time. I-I have a story that I haven't told a lot of people. That story comes with a lot of baggage... that baggage has had people running and... I don't think I could take it if it did the same to you. When I get the courage to tell you, will you be willing to hear it?"

She felt the cold chill down her spine and she shifted on her feet, "Of course I will." She let out a huge sigh of panic for herself and she licked her lips before speaking with a cracked voice, "but... at that time... there may be a story I need to share with you, too. Baggage comes with mine, too. Are YOU willing to hear mine?"

He looked at her in bewilderment, but he nodded. The two shared a smile. It was soft but tiring. Shiro broke the silence as he stepped out with no shoes and closed his door, "Well, since I wasn't much of a gentleman and left you on the dance floor, how about I, at least, walk you to your door?"

The heavy atmosphere suddenly lifted and she smiled, amusingly. She looked back at the two steps it would take to her door and then back to him, "Who am I to deny such a chivalrous act, no matter how late it happened to come?"

He offered his gloved elbow and she hooked her arm around it. Two steps and they shared a huge laugh. He stood in front of her, his eyes glimmering from the dull porch light, and he smiled ever so softly. She pushed her hair behind one of her ears and licked her lips. A lot just happened in the last 45 minutes of her day, but they all seemed to close nicely. This man was a big ball of craziness and secrets, but he was really trying to figure things out. She loved that about him. With that airy feeling fresh in her heart, she took the rest of the space from between them and kissed him soundly on the lips. It was a chaste kiss, but it vibrated her body like a shockwave. She had intended it to be a quick kiss, but Shiro's hands came up and rested on either side of her jaw before taking her bottom lip between his silken kiss. She reached up and rested her hands on his wrists as their kiss became a sweet dance. She pulled his hands down and wrapped her arms around his neck before he questioned it, but his arms just snaked around her torso. She felt his fingers grip at her clothing as their heated breaths puffed from their noses the more intese the kiss got. It wasn't until Shiro spun and pressed her against the door that the two snapped out of the lustful trance they were in.

They slowly untangled themselves, but never looked away from one another. They smiled before breaking eye contact and fixing their discheveled clothing. She cleared her throat, opened her door, and squeaked out, "Well... Good night."

He let out a nervous laugh and smiled at her with a warmth she could almost still pressed against her body, "Sweet dreams."

* * *

How long has it been since she made out like a horny teenager? Oh. Right. One day. As she sat at her desk, it replayed in her mind over and over and over again. She hoped that blushing all day long wasn't bad for your health, because she had been red all day long.

Ezor knocked and slid inside, "Whoa, boss lady. You alright? You look really red. You feeling feverish?"

She smiled and she could feel the heat steaming over her face. She weighed the option of telling her about the make-out session with the fact that she was acting like a middle schooler who just got her first kiss. Ezor was a 'I Remember All' type of friend, but she would also be very happy for her. Her mind went ahead and added 'Happy For You To Hurry Up and Get Laid'. That was even in Ezor's voice.

Before she could get to tell her, Ezor crossed her arms and leaned on the door, "You heard anything from Lance? He apparently called out sick for the first time in 5 years."

She looked up at her and blinked a few times, "He went out dancing with us, last night. He seemed just fine."

Ezor nodded and she looked a little hurt, "You went dancing without me? Ouch. Well, anyways, Honerva wants to get the paper work on Sendak's check up, today. She'd prefer it faxed then mailed to her. I'll go get that started. You might want to check up on Otterbox, make sure he really is ok."

She took her coffee and raised it up with a nod, "Thank you, Ezor. I'll make sure to invite you to the next dance."

Ezor opened the door and gave a smile to the side of her mouth, "You better."

She pulled out her phone and texted Lance, "I hope everything's ok. You never called out before."

She waited and never got a response. That was so unusual. She couldn't recall anything from last night that made him seem any different than before. When they danced, he seemed in perfect health. No sniffling, coughing, or fever. What could it be?

She dialed his number and listened to it ring. She half wasn't expecting him to answer, but she heard a groggy, "Hello." And suddenly got suspicious, "Hello Lance. How're you feeling?"

She heard another groan that was not the same pitch as him. She heard clicks and what sounded like muffled talking before Lance answered the phone again with his normal and sweet tone, "A little better. I woke up with just a ridiculous headache so I..."

She cut him off with an eyeroll, "Who'd you sleep with?"

He stuttered for a few seconds before clearing his throat, "I don't know what you..."

"WHO did you SLEEP with."

"You promise not to freak out?"

"No."

She waited and gasped when he hung up. She was about to call him back before the tone for her video chat chimed. She looked around and shifted so no one could see her screen and she answered. She was just in time to see a shirtless Lance straightening the screen. He smiled at her and she shook her head. Before she had the time to start, Keith slid into frame with a wave. She was about to wave back until Pidge, wiping her eyes, sat down on the bed and gave a wave, too. She had no idea what face she was making, but the pixilated voice of Lance whispered from her speaker, "Long story short. I'm a bit of a slut." Pidge AND Keith let out a 'yep' before giving Lance a quick teasing look.

She threw back her head and laughed very loudly before sighing out, "How did this even happen... YOU KNOW WHAT... I don't want to know. You are all consenting adults. And though I am thoroughly impressed that Lance has enough attention span to focus on two lovers, I don't think it's any of my business to begin with. Pidge... Keith... Lance... please be safe. And... I cherish you." They all awkwardly smiled at her as she paused for a minute then said, "Your secret, if this is even a secret, is safe with me."

Lance wrapped his arms around the two on his bed and smiled at her, "Thank you, Princess."

She scowled at the nickname but smiled and winked before she disconnected. She stared at her phone for the longest time. How the hell does he do that? She shook her head at the nonsense of that man's seemingly endless libido. A threesome wasn't what was baffling her... it was the Pidge and Keith that were the confusing part. She mouthed out a 'Wow' before shaking it out of her mind and focusing on her work.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N**_

 _Ok... So, THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO MAKE THIS STORY CHANGE TO A 'M' RATING. Hopefully I said that loud enough for the people in the back. There is Sex in this. Yes... Yes there is. *sighs* You have no idea how hard smut is for me to write. lol_

 _There are probably a shit ton of errors in this and I really hope you can forgive my sins._

 _Thank you, to all those who are actually enjoying this. I may not reply to you, but know... I love your LOVE._

 _Hope you all enjoy and remember... SMUT. *points down at the lower half of the story* SMUT._

* * *

The next few weeks went by in a flash. The lionesses were successfully bred and the plate for Narti was posted in front of the lion exhibit. She had taken multiple pictures of it and Honerva even made a replica made just for her. She took it back to her apartment and hung it in her bedroom. As a matter of fact, that was what she was staring at as she laid on her back on her twin sized bed. She hadn't heard from anyone since the kiss and finding out about Lance's threesome. Even Coran hadn't called her or texted her. She felt... invisible. Lonely. Useless. She shut her eyes and closed them very tightly and fought the depression that was trying to swallow her up. Her mind scolded her. It screamed, 'Your phone is right there. YOU could actually contact them for a change. You coward.'

But what if they were doing something important? What if they were with their families or lovers? Wouldn't I be a burden to them? "I don't want to bother them if they're having a good time." She said only to herself. She opened her eyes and looked at the plaque. Her mind stung her with a simple thought: 'You never know how long you have in this world. Better make good use of it.' Her eyes shifted downward to the small dresser drawer with her mother's picture on it and she shook her head trying to think of anything but her loss. It was harder than she thought and she tossed her back against her bed with a groan, and, finally, her mind obliged. Her memories tried to suffocate her with thoughts of Shiro's lips, Shiro's scent, Shiro's smile, Shiro's voice over and over again. Her mind growled at her that if she didn't want to be a bother to him then she shouldn't have kissed him. What if he was waiting for HER? The pain of her inner dialog groaned in her throat and she flipped over to scream into her pillow. That's when a faint noise caught her attention. She lifted her head off the pillow with a dead silence. The noise happened again and she lifted herself up and sat, crosslegged, in the middle of her mattress.

It was a low humming coming from the other side of the wall she was facing. It sounded like rain with loud drops here and there, but there was something else added to it. She put her entirety into listening. There it was, again. A sharp and deep echo. A voice in the rain? The noise got a bit louder, but still sounded distant, and more rhythmic until it finally hit her. She threw her hand to her mouth to cover the gasp that escaped. It was moaning. And by the bass of it, she recognized it. It was Shiro. Moaning. And it grew louder and louder and more desperate as she listened.

She should've just covered her ears and left the room, but she just sat on the bed and took in the most erotic noise she had ever heard. With every pant. With every huff. With every 'Oh God' or 'Fuck Yes' he uttered into the paper-thin walls, she grew more wet. She didn't want to picture him pushing her against the shower wall. She didn't want to imagine him moaning and grunting and cussing as he slammed into her over and over again. She didn't want the urge to pull his mouth to hers so she occupy that tongue with her own as her legs gripped around his thrusting pelvis to get him closer. She didn't want to, but she did...

She flung herself back against her pillows and touched herself with his voice ringing out. It was just his voice, yet, it felt like it was touching her, too. She had never rubbed herself that hard. Never wanted to go over the edge so quickly. But, she could tell by his low grunting that he was close so she wanted to match him. The urgency pulsed in her mind and she was just about to spill over the edge when she heard her name come from his mouth. It sent ice cold water into her veins and she didn't even need to stroke her clit to climax. Her own name from someone else's mouth was just the stroke she needed. She buried her face into her pillow and bit into it, muffling the scream of pure pleasure.

She laid on her bed, shuddering. The aftershock of her orgasm gave her time to contemplate how she should feel about what just happened. Not just touching herself to her neighbor's voice, but that HE was thinking about HER. The thought made the aftershocks more painful since it aroused her. Wa... Was that weird? Wouldn't any other woman be disgusted or shocked? She felt dirty and a little perverted, but nothing that she wouldn't be ashamed of. She sighed as her muscles twitched here and there, but subsided. She couldn't hear his voice nor the sound of the distant drips of water. She gave a small hum and got up to go clean herself off.

* * *

The weekends at the AZ were more lively than any day of the week. It was because the keepers of the less threaten animals or those who had babies to show off would be out answering questions or allowing visitors to get up-close and personal. Lance had a little otter pool area just outside his main enclosure, to the side so as not to block it, just for the weekends. He'd have his little pups swimming and playing with one another as he gave fun and cute facts about Sea and River otters. The kids loved it but so did the parents.

It still punched her in the gut to remember that she had done it with Narti and her sisters when they were babies. Nope. She wasn't going to think about it because she was asked to help Kolivan with his tigers, today. His tigress had 3 cubs about 2 months ago and they were lively. What monster wouldn't jump at a chance to help out with baby tigers? Not THIS monster. As Kolivan spoke of Laika and her cubs, Allura's job was simple... survive the cub attack. Their claws and teeth WERE sharp, but it was their cuteness that was the real danger. Little growls and hoarse yells happened as her leg got pounced on like a scratching post, but she laughed through the pain and played with the little buggers with her hands. That was all she did, throughout the day, was get to know Kolivan and his team better all while getting to play with cubs. She loved her job, sometimes.

* * *

She hadn't been taking the shuttle for very long, but she got to know the driver pretty well. He was an older gentleman who seemed cold and just overall sour about his job, but he always greeted anyone who came on or off his shuttle. His name was Ulaz. He was born in Kazakhstan and moved here with his family when he was 10. He had it rough in his old country and the new one. They lived on the streets, but soon... they got their footing. Ulaz had been cop and moved his way to lead dective when he turned 23. He wouldn't talk about his cases, but he brought down some big time murderers. Even was the lead on taking down the Galra gang that had terrorized not only this country but all over the world. Ulaz was a hero, yet... time moves on and he retired from the force and here he was... driving a bus that had only 8 destinations.

When he pulled to her apartment complex, she stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder. She smiled down at the cranky looking driver, "See you tomorrow, Ulaz."

He gave a glimpse of a smile before he opened the door with a hiss, "Until then, Miss Romelle."

She trotted down the steps and to the sidewalk. She turned and gave a happy wave just as the doors hiss close. He gave a small, single node, and the shuttle pulled off with a hum. She put her hands behind her back and smiled as she walked, happily, to the stairs of her apartment complex. She actually had a great day. It was suspicious of her to actually have one, but she wasn't going to ruin it with thinking about her past.

She noticed that Shiro's truck wasn't in the parking lot and her stomach dropped just as her mind reminded her of her lewd act the other night. She swallowed and sarcastically thanked herself for remembering that as she climbed the stairs. When she got to the top, everything stopped. Time. Her heart. Her breathing. Her thoughts. And she nearly flung herself down the stairs. Standing at her front door, smiling like a dog who was happy to see its master, was Lotor.

He had flowers, aurelian and trumpet lilies the ones she loved, and was wearing a very dashing suit. She finally caught back up with time and barely squeaked out, "Wh-what are you doing here? How did you find me?"

Lotor stopped and gave out a deep chuckle, "Oh, my sweet lily, I can always find you. As to why, I wanted to offer my condolences on losing your lioness. Heard about it on the news and just couldn't help myself. I had to find you and make sure you were alright."

She was shaking. She could feel it. Her lungs and heart were burning. She needed to get away from the fire. She gripped her keys in her pocket and moved to go around him, but he matched her moves until she grew irrate and stopped her. She was actually terrified, right now. This man had been out of her life for so long, but she couldn't stop thinking how amazing he smelled or how handsome he looked. She looked up and he gave her pleading smile before offering her the flowers.

She shook her head. To not only reject the flowers offered to her, but snap herself out of the submissive role she was in. She snorted, "Lotor. Thank you for worrying about me, but I'm fine. It would've been much easier to have mailed me a card or emailed me. Coming here like a creepy stalker just makes me wonder if you weren't expecting something else. Like... you thought I would just melt into her embrace and want you back? You cheated on me, remember? With God knows HOW many women or men. Thank you. Now. Good night."

He moved right in front of her, menacingly, and got his face close to hers. She furrowed her brow and stared at the little weasel in front of her. She wasn't going to let him know that his facial expression he put on was terrifying. He whispered to her, "I found out your little secret that you hid from me while we were together. The reason why I never had to worry about your time of the month and still, couldn't get sex from you. You can't have children." Her fist clenched very tight and she could feel her nails digging into her palm. She also clenched her jaw and refused to look away even though her eyes teared up. He didn't stop there as his voice sounded like a growl as he whispered more angrily, "That lioness was the closest thing you had to a child and you lost her, too. You just can't win. You are just a useless woman. Can't give birth. Can't keep a man. It must be so hard for you. Being such a lowly creature." She shut her eyes and the tears rolled down in her defeat. His laugh was dark and he sighed with an evil glee.

"The only lowly creature I see here is you, asshole."

Her eyes shot open at the sound of her neighbor's voice coming up the stairs. Her stomach dropped for two reasons. His tone was threatening and she was worried how much he heard. She turned to see Shiro with bags in his hands and a snarl on his face that was directed at Lotor, "Back away from her. Now."

Lotor tossed the flowers over the edge of the railing and walked to him. Shiro put his bags down and moved to meet him halfway. She moved in between him as Lotor growled, "Who are you talking to, boy?" He looked down at her with a vicious look and shoved her clean off her feet. She dipped her shoulder just in time to save anything from getting injured from the fall, but she heard a disgusting crack. She got up with a grimace and saw Shiro clasping his jaw. She swore she saw his eyes glow a deep purple for a brief second before he licked the blood from his lip.

Lotor was shaking his hand and laughing but it didn't last long. Shiro's fist collided against Lotor's nose and top lip with a thick thud that sent his back ricocheting off her door and to his knees. He clasped the front of his face and it concealed the gurling scream. Shiro wasn't done and she rushed to stop him. She wrapped her arms around his torso, "No. Shiro. Stop. Please."

She could feel him heaving with a deep breathing motion, and he rested a shaky hand upon her arm as he spoke down to the defeated man, "If you ever put your hands on her again, I'll break more than that pointy nose of yours. Now get out of here before I call the cops. And I'm damn sure they'll take only you since you put your hands on us, first."

Lotor stood up, still clutching his bloody nose, and glared at both of them before moving down the stairs. She didn't watch him leave since she was still very much embracing her neighbor's back. She wasn't scared but her adrenaline started to subside and made her shake. Shiro took one of her wrists as he turned in her grip, "Are you alright? Here... let me look you over."

He took each of her arms and legs to run his fingers over them. The back of her shoulder stung from it dragging against the concrete, but she wasn't going to stop the probing. It gave her a moment to replay everything that just happened. It hit her stomach again at the thought of how much he heard Lotor snarling at her.

He tilted her chin up just in time to see her eyes tear up. She saw his eyes skimming over her face in desperation and she reached up and took his hands into hers, "Thank you... Shiro. You're my hero." She watched him let out a sigh that looked like he'd been holding in. Her eyes dropped as she gathered enough courage to ask, "How much of what Lotor was saying did you hear?"

When he dropped his hand, her eyes climbed back up to his face. His lips went thin then spoke softly, "All of it." His eyes left hers but he stepped to her and wrapped his arms around her. Being crushed into his chest he whispered into her hair, "You can't have children. But... that doesn't make you any less of a woman, Allura. Lotor was trying to get inside your head. Trying to break you. Trying to make you just as miserable as he was. He saw how you had moved on wihtout him. He thought if he belittled you that you would come crawling back to him, but I know you're stronger then that. You are the strongest woman I know."

Everything crashed down upon her like a merciless wave. Her emotions were jumbled and the tears wouldn't stop. She never thought he'd have to find out about her like this. She wanted to share it with him, but this was the worst possible way... from her Ex that she hadn't seen in a decade. It was horrible, true, but now that he knew and still accepted her... relief nearly drowned her and she tried to gasp for air.

There was no doubt in her mind, now... she loved him. She loved this unbelievably perfect man. She didn't know anything about his past, but at this very moment... she didn't give a single fuck. She pushed him off her a little bit before bringing him back into her embrace and kissing him with a passion that she hadn't felt in a very long time. His moan of shock jolted down her spine but his equally passionate kiss just flooded over her dam. It brought back the very embarrassing memory of her touching herself to that very moan and her whole body lit on fire. It was like two teenagers kissing for the first time.

* * *

He started to say her name in the kiss until she finally got the hint and pulled back. He laughed as he caught his breath and smiled at her with his hands resting on her shoulders, "I am not NOT saying I wouldn't love to continue with this. But... I have groceries to put up... and..." He licked his lips and his whole demenor changed on a dime as he finished dejectedly, "... and a story to tell you." He kept her gaze for a long moment before he took in a deep breath into his nose, "Would you care to join me for dinner? I can't cook worth a lick, but I make one hell of a sandwich. I really would like to share my burden with you."

Her heart thudded as it finally got to a reasonable speed and she nodded, "Sure. I... I just need a quick shower and I'll be right over." He smiled and they backed away to give the other the space they required. He moved to his bags and she noticed he shook out and flexed his hand that had hit Lotor. She smiled at his back and moved to her door. She nervously tried to put her key in before it finally cooperated, but her mind was a mile a minute. Did he want her as much as she wanted him? It was eating at her as she hesitated at the door.

She spun around and lightly startled him, "Shiro... I-I am so sorry for all this. For Lotor. For your hand. For finding out about my secret from someone else. For me jumping on your like some horny animal. I'm sorry. This is not how I wanted this day to go." She stepped to him, but no more than three strides away, and she spoke with heaviness on her chest, "I like you. I like you a lot. You have been nothing but sweet to me and all I've given you is pure chaos. I find myself thinking about you and when I find time to not... you slither your way back in. I'm telling you this to let you know where I stand. I don't know if it's a crush or just cicumstance, but... I needed you to know my feelings. If you don't want to go any further than this, I would totally understand. I'm sorry."

"Wow." He gripped his bags and looked at her with an unreadable look. He cleared his throat and shifted all the bags into his left hand and flexed his fist up between them, "I think about you every single day. I think about your smile. I think about your hair." He laughed and blushed but continued, "I could be chest deep in motor oil and all I can think about is your laugh. I'll have you know that I haven't punched a guy in over 15 years and I just broke that guy's nose... for you. I don't know what we have either, but... I don't want it to go away. You don't bring me chaos, Allura... I'm the chaos. I want to tell you my story. I... I have to tell you. If, after you hear it, you want to move on... then that'll be that. But... if you want me to stay... I'll be by yourside for as long as this life will let me."

He gave a nod and moved to his door leaving her speechless. She shook out of her delight and confusion enough to turn back and open hers. When she closed her door, she couldn't stop thinking about what he just said. She slid down the door until her butt hit the floor and she covered her face up. Her smile felt like it would rip her head in two. Oh MY GOD... His face when he was talking about her made her feel jiggly inside. Tonight was make it or break it. Either she picks him or they end it. She pushed herself up and felt a bit odd about what she said to herself. Either? No. Shiro was the one. As she started the shower, the thought of what he said last swirled in her head. What in the hell kind of story was he about to tell? He made it sound like he was going to rip off his mask and reveal that he was Shrek or something. How shallow did he think she was? And... did he just PROPOSE TO HER. She calmed her 13 year old self down and smiled.

There were a few things that he could tell her that might deter her from a relationship with him, but from what Matt had been telling her since they met is that it had to do with his past. God. It was going to be a monster of a tale since it gave him nightmares. But, Coran always told her that the past doesn't influence who we want to be unless we let it. Only we can decide the type of person we will become. How do you tell that to a man that works on machines just so he doesn't have to sleep through the terror of his past that he is more than what his nightmares are? As she washed every single crease on her body two or three times, she started to get rather nervous. She washed her hair twice, got out, dried off, and blow dried her hair.

As she brushed out the wetness, she stared at the long scar. She swallowed a little as a small spark of fear popped in her belly. She paused too long and the sudden burning feeling from the blow dryer snapped her out of it. She didn't put on too much makeup, but enough to highlight her features. God she needed to stop watching makeup tutorials. She brushed and flossed her teeth then licked at them. She looked up at herself in the mirror. She and pressed her lips together. How long has it been since she happily looked at herself in the mirror? She looked away from her reflection and went into her bedroom.

She took out one of her gaze-getting dresses. It was her turquoise dress and she knew it looked flawless with her skin color and it had to be one of her favorites. It was short, tight, and backless with a guarentee of making men sigh. She had heels to match, but it was only dinner next door. She slipped into her light colored sandals and grabbed her keys and her handbag with her phone in it and stopped behind the door. She tried to convince her heart that everything will be alright, but it continued to beat a mile a minute. She didn't think she was ready to hear his story, but the curiosity side of her brain thought otherwise. She took one last, huge intake of air through her nose, and headed next door.

* * *

Before she could get her knuckle against the wood of his door, Shiro had already opened it. He wore a simple black polo shirt that hug onto his form the best it could and very well fitted jeans. The awkward smile he had on his face looked like it had fallen right off his face as he jaw went loose. That set a fire in her belly... seeing the way she made him look was enough to know that her choice in dress was perfect. He gathered himself with a cough and stepped aside to let her in, "Wow, Allura, you look like a Goddess. That dress is stunning."

She stepped in but stopped right in front of him. She smiled and shot him with sarcasm, "Oh. This old thing?" She made a face and entered his living room as he shut the door.

She was awed by how sophisticated his living room was. Where his window was, a small two-seater charcoal colored couch sat with two black and grey pillows leaning on the armrests. A knee high, white, cylinder table sat in front of that with two black chairs on the other side, facing the window. On either side of the couch were two small lamp tables with charcoal grey bases and white shades. There was no TV, but there were cubbies cut out of the table that had slots for board games, cards, and magazines. There was a crack in his ceiling, much like the one on hers and she noticed that the same, off white color of her walls, matched hers, too. It was quite amazing to see how spotless it was.

He came around her, his fingers barely wanting to disturb her skin, and waved his hand towards the couch, "Please. Have a seat. I'll go get the sandwiches."

When he got back, he had made her one delicious turkey hoagie with some Sunchips and sweet tea. They talked about the past week since they hadn't seen each other. She didn't bring up her hearing him in the shower bit, but it was in the back of her mind. Shiro had went flying, again. He flew a couple to Osaka and back. She saw a twinge of something in his eyes and had a thought that he lived there, at one point. She told him about the tiger cubs and he seemed to beam at that.

It was a simple meal and it felt really comfortable to have it in an apartment she'd never been in. Any other person would've made her feel weird and on edge, but he was just so easy to talk to and so unbelievably professional that there was no way that this story he was going to tell would make her feel any differently about him. He stood and took their plates back to the kitchen. As if he heard her inner monologue in there, he came back and sat down, "Well, I guess it's better to just... get it over with. You... you don't mind, right?"

She shook her head 'No' and turned to get comfortable on the couch. The way he told the story felt like a flashback. She listened closely and got swept into the imagery of his tale, feeling like she was seeing it through his eyes.

* * *

 _"I guess I should start this story by telling you about my family. My father was a stern man. Not one of those stern men that was abusive or angry all the time, just one that needed things to be in order. He had been a marine since he was 19 so my mother assumed that was the reason. My mother, in contrast to my father's intensity, was the sweetest woman in the world. She believed that everything had a purpose and everyone deserved a chance. She believed that patience and focus could yield understanding. She was a stay at home mom and never allowed the house to not be cleaned. She never killed spiders. She always had house plants. And she was a foster for the animal shelter, so animals came and went._

 _Believe or not, I had a twin. Hikuro. Born almost a whole minute before me, but still had my face. I also had an older brother, Sven, who was from a previous marriage of my mother's, but my father treated him like he was his own. He was 12 years older than me and Hikuro. I don't remember too much about him. When he turned 18, he joined the Army and was deployed a year after that. When me and Hikuro turned 7, mom and dad got the news that Sven had been shot and killed in the line of duty. It broke my mother's heart, but she buried it with housework._

Shiro's face suddenly twisted into a horrid look and it made her shiver from the cold that lurked in her veins and she knew the story was about to shift gears.

 _"Three years after my brother died in battle, one of the worst winters we had hit our town. We didn't have gas heat so we had to use space heaters. My father told me again and again not to put the heaters too close to the beds, but one night, I woke up because I had to pee and when I came back, I saw my brother shaking under his blanket. I just wanted to warm him up, so I slid the heater closer and went back to bed..."_

Shiro's folded his head down and she could see him begin to quiver. He took in a huge intake of air as he looked back up and with a shaky voice, he continued,

 _"I was woken up by my brother's screams. I jumped out of bed and froze at the fire that was growing bigger by the second. I tried to grab him but the fire's heat was too strong and my brother's scream stopped. Like a coward, I ran out of the room, but the fire out ran me and covered the exit to the house. I ran to my parent's room and saw them still lying in bed. The smoke hurt my eyes and burned my lungs. I didn't know it then, but the smoke had killed them. I opened the window up just as the fire bled into their room. My mother was a small woman and I thought I could save her. I picked her up and dragged her to the window. I slung her upper body on the sill and got on the other side and tried to pull her out... th-the fire engulfed the room and... swallowed her up._

 _I moved t-to try and pull her out. The fire set my clothes ablaze and the pain caused me to let go and fall to the ground. I put the fire out and the pain nearly made me pass out, but I saw my mother's arm still out and I-I had to save her. I grabbed her hand and still tried to pull... e-even when the fire got too hot... I pulled one of my hands away and continued to pull with my right. I screamed. I pulled. The flesh of her arms sloughed off and I fell onto my back. I remember the smell of flesh burning and no pain came from my arm before I rolled it around on the cold grass to put it out. I watched the black smoke of my house rise up into the night sky. T-then everything went black._

 _I had a fourth degree burn on my arm and the rest were third degree or lower. I... I didn't care about the burns. I didn't care about how disfigured they were going to make me... All I could think about was my brother's screams and my mother's arm flesh coming off._

 _I killed them. I killed them... not the fire. I... I'm a monster."_

* * *

His hands went to his face and she watched him trying to not breakdown. She scooted closer and put a hand on top of his knee. What could she say that wouldn't sound like she was babying him? The story he told was heartbreaking and horrifying. This poor man has lived with this for so long that he probably hears his brother and watches his mother being pulled apart every single night. Was this really a secret that was going to make or break a relationship? She didn't think so. Not at all. This was just what it sounded like... a really tragic accident. She needed to say that, but... is it what he wanted to hear? She was pretty sure Matt or Keith or even Pidge would've said that to him... right? No matter what she could say, he would still be adament that he did, in fact, kill them. It WAS his fault... accident or not... and that's what the secret did to him. It made him the bad guy. What do you say to a person who has taken the blame for his mistake for over 20 years? What could you say?

They stayed in silence. Her hand felt strange on the denim on his knee, but she couldn't bring herself to remove it. She couldn't figure out the right words to say to him and a simple 'I'm Sorry' felt so empty to say, so the hand was the only comfort she could give that didn't make her feel like an idiot or a failure as a friend. His gloved hand covered hers and she looked up into his eyes. He could barely keep the contact with her gaze but he spoke out, "Thank you, Allura. For listening."

She looked down at the glove and licked her lips. She whispered, "You're welcome." For a crazy, silent, moment, something inside her screamed for her to say something. ANYTHING else. ANYTHING. And her mouth obliged against her will. Her face flushed even before she could speak because it wasn't well thought out and could possibly damage the comfort she and him had built as they conversed, "Why do you do this to yourself, Shiro? Why do you treat yourself like some murderous child? Your intent was pure. You saw your brother freezing and you wanted to alleviate him of it. Yes. You were to blame for the incident, but... you had no intent of the aftermath. I-It was an accident. Fatal, as it was, but an accident nonetheless. I am truly TRULY sorry that you had to live through this, but... you have to know that no one blames you... except YOU."

She felt a zap in her spine as his eyes snapped up to hers but she didn't look away. She shook her head as tears started to build. She thought about her mother and about his mother and it just naturally built up tears, "You think your mother would seriously blame you for this? You think your mother wouldn't hold you and tell you to forgive yourself? Don't do this, Shiro. Don't shoulder all this pain by yourself. You were just a child. You... are not a monster."

If the emotions that bubbled in her weren't enough to set her tears off, watching Shiro's tender grieving face scrunch up was. She reached a hand up and cupped his cheek, wiping the tear away with her thumb as she leaned over and kissed the other eye. The salty tear tingled like the taste of metal. She moved her other hand to cup the cheek as she peppered kisses on his brow and forehead. She rested her forehead on his turned his cheek to kiss at her palm before he tilted his head up and kissed her softly on the lips.

"I... I want you, Allura."

She felt the searing fog of her blush spread over her entire face. She licked at the sudden dryness that infected her mouth. She gathered her courage and put her forehead against his, again, and cut her eyes up to meet his. With a small whisper meant for only him, she said as arousingly as she could, "Then take me, Takashi, I'm all yours."

* * *

The journey to his bedroom was a blur of kisses and touches. They entered the room, the door was closed by Shiro slamming her against the back of it. She felt his exhaled huff against her lips before he pulled her into a strong but crazed kiss. The wildness turned into something more tame. She felt him shift into deep and slow kisses. He was savoring everything and that only made her want more of him. She moved her hands down to the bottom of his shirt to slide her hands up, but she was stopped by startled hands. He yanked himself out of the kiss and back away like she just stabbed him. She was left, still leaning against the door, shocked and almost offended.

Shiro shook his head and she could see the fear of rejection clear on his face as he stuttered, "I-I ca-can't. I can't. God, Allura... I'm sorry. I-I... I'm sorry."

She moved to him, chasing him as he backed away further, and finally caught him to cup his cheeks with her hands. He was panting hard but she didn't know if it was from the kiss or the fear. She wanted him to see that what she wanted wasn't out of pity or even out of curiousity... this was out of love. She wanted this man in front of her just as much as he wanted her. She did from the moment they met. Hearing his story didn't change that and she knew that his scars wouldn't, either. She wouldn't let him re-live this nightmare over and over again like Matt had insisted. She had learned about his internal scars, but she could see that his ultimate fear was being rejected by his outer scars. He didn't know just how much she desired him. How much she wanted him to feel her love. How much she yearned for him to be comfortable around her. As she held the scared man's face, she kissed him slow and deep. Every ounce of her sentiment buzzed upon her lips and she could feel it thawing the tensity out of his muscles.

She pulled back from the kiss just enough to watch his face as her fingers found the bottom of his polo shirt. She waited for him to panic, to scream for her to stop, but all he did was gaze into her eyes. He gave her a slight nod before he swallowed deeply. As she began to pull the shirt up, his eyes shut tight. She didn't rush it. She made sure her fingers didn't hit his skin. When his hair flowed back to position from being disturbed by the shirt, she held it in her hands. She took in the massively scarred body as his eyes were shut closed. From his right shoulder, down across his chest, and all down his sides... the mercilessness of fire told its story all over his body. She could see that it was below the waist of his pants, too.

She didn't feel pity. She didn't feel sickened. She felt... Curious. Protective. Loving. She felt like she wanted to kiss every single dip and piece of knawled flesh to show him that she accepted every single part of him. She wondered if this was when the shitty women his had been with would either hurl themselves out of the room or on top of him? She wouldn't be either one of those. She decided to just stand and waited. She looked down at the body-warm shirt and rubbed her fingers against it. This was his armor. This is what he had always worn to protect himself. She looked up at him and saw that not all of his armor was off. She placed the shirt on his dresser and stood before him and spoke softly, "Please, Takashi, take off the glove, too."

He didn't open his eyes. He just took in a very deep breath as if steeling his resolve. He hesitated for a long time before finally reaching up and the sound of velcro ripping filled the quiet room. A few more bands of velcro ripped before he hesitated again. His fingers were ready to slowly pull the sleeve off when his eyes opened. He looked like he changed his mind and he spoke with his voice shaking, slightly, "This... this thing underneath... it's... it's really gruesome. I... I..."

"It's alright. Go on. Take it off."

Shiro didn't move. The terror had stiffened his resolve, again, and left him panting and shaking. In a very fluid motion, Allura stepped forward, kissed him, grabbed the sleeve off, and held it behind her back as she kissed him a little longer. When she pulled away, she looked at the most mangled limb she had ever seen. From just above his elbow and down to his fingers, looked like an arm without skin. Though the darkness of the room mad it difficult to see anything but shades of shadows, she could tell it was angry and red. The fingertips barely had any flesh over the bones of his fingertips and you could see strands of muscles up the forearm. It was absolutely horrifying to look at... but not enough to make her leave this room. Not enough to reject the wonderful man attached to it.

She could see tears forming in his eyes and she knew he wanted to run. He wanted to be back in the hole he had buried for himself. He was back in the middle of his nightmare and was probably screaming what a monster he was. She wasn't going to let him shutdown. She reached out and took his ungloved arm. He jerked back with his eyes wide open. She refused to give up and took the reluctant arm with both hands as she softly begged with her eyes. He let up his resistance with fear still plastered on his face, but she watched him. She guided the scarred limb up to her face and pressed the hand against her cheek. She closed her eyes, with his still glued to her, and focused on the warmth of it. She felt the sadness and pain he must have went through. The thought of this limb of his had never touched another human being made her turn her cheek and kiss the palm. She could hear Shiro's gasp as he tried to pull it away, but she refused. She caressed his forearm then gripped the base and behind his hand as she kissed the fingertips and down to the wrist.

Her mind was soaring. She was pouring all her emotions into these little butterfly kisses, but she needed more. She wanted this hand... this man... to touch her, to taste her, to just BE with her in this moment. She released the hand, but only to reach up and flip the straps of her dress off her shoulders. His eyes, that still looked glistened, followed the motion of the dress as it cascaded off her form. She hadn't worn a bra for that particular dress so she knew his eyes were going to have a lot to look at. She nearly laughed as his eyes stopped at her breasts then nervously shot back up to her eyes.

The amusment on her face melted, however, as she stepped forward and took his fire kissed arm, again. There was less resistance, but still present, as she brought it back up to her lips. She kissed the palm softly and purposely before slowly guiding the arm down. She could feel the heat blaring from the limb as it trailed down her chest. She pressed the hand to cup her entire breast and her eyes pleaded for him to understand what she wanted. She wondered if he could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage because, that this moment, it was so loud in her ears.

There was a senseless moment where all she could feel was the static of the silence. His gaze was unsure but unwaivering and she was afraid he had an overload of emotion, but when the zap of arousal hit her gut as his thumb began to circle her areola, nothing in the world mattered. How long had it been since a man touched her? She wasn't going to do the math right now. If a simple rubbing of her nipple caused her to nearly climax, then the rest of the night was going to be very intense. She arched her back into the one sensation and she couldn't believe how electrifying it was. Embarrassment came across her mind, but was negated by lips on her collarbone and fingertips on her bare hip.

She put an arm around his neck as everything shifted from cautiously fragile to sensual. His fire kissed hand stopped its minstrations only to aid its brother into slipping between the fabric on the sides of her panties and pulling them down in unison. His lips trailed a freezing hot path down her chest, over her stomach, and stopped just below her belly button, where her vertical hysterectomy scar was. Now it was her turn to feel nervous and uneasy. He must have sensed it as he stared up at her with a gentle smile as his hands abandoned the garmet to grasp the side of her hips with a loving pressure. It shook out a shivering gasp from her lips as his tongue traced the scar from the top of her pubic mound to the bottom of her belly button. She bit her bottom lip to stifle the moan as the walls of her vagina clamped and twitched from arousal.

The moan that had left her mouth was loud enough to echo in the back of her throat and possibly the apartment complex. There was a sudden feeling of being lifted before she was crushed against him by his two, now cooperating, hands that had their grips on the cheeks of her ass. Her eyes found his already focused on her and she didn't need any acknowledgment on what they were asking for. She wrapped her arms around his head and latched her lips on his. She was very much naked, so there was nothing left to do but to let him have her. Ravage her. Make love to her. Do whatever he wanted, as long as he never stopped. She needed him. She always thought that she wanted it soft and slow, but... the fire that was trickling in her veins wanted it hard. She wanted flesh slapping together. She wanted teeth and tongue on her shoulder. She wanted him. She wanted him raw and savage. She needed him with a primal urge that she had never felt. It made her whimper in a pleading breath as she clung to him.

* * *

His memory of the exactness of his room allowed him to make it to his bed without sight which was very convienant since she was nipping and licking and sucking on his bottomlip. She felt him stop suddenly and knew they'd made it to their destination. She heard the squeaking of his bed as his knee sank in and she felt the fall backwards; bringing him along for the descent, never breaking her desperate kiss. His weight on top of her ignited a whole nother fire inside her, and, by the shift of the man's hips against her pubic bone, he was feeling that heat, too. But his lips sudden left hers and took the same trail as they did before, but he doesn't stop at the scar. He pulls her to the edge of the bed and drapes her legs over his shoulders. The desire on his face as he cuts his eyes up to meet hers makes her body quiver as ice water feels like it was injected into her blood stream. He licks his lips and his eyes focus down on his next task. She feels his fingers part her labia, his breath against her esposed sex, and when she feels the strong and velvety stroke of his tongue... her eyes flicker into the back of her skull as her hands grip the comforter underneath her to try and anchor her down since she felt like she was hovering off the bed.

Hisses and grunts turn to whimpers and hums. The more he lapped up her juices, the more that flowed out. His tongue and suction were pushing her further and further towards the edge. Her body felt on fire yet freezing from all the sweat. She couldn't hear her pleading cries because the muted pulse in her ears was barracading everything from her senses. All she could feel was his tongue, his fingers probing her, the bass of his voice vibrating her clit... she felt like she would touch the stars if his hands weren't gripping her thighs to stay on Earth. When everything went white, tense, and painfully stimulating, she felt his grip tight on her thighs before her lungs tightened as her muted praise rushed from her lips. At the end of her climax, his name flickered off her tongue and she almost sang it out, "Ohhhh.. Takashi."

Allura laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying her best to catch her breath. Her body was still tingling and the aftershocks still spasmed her walls. When she everything finally caught up to her, she noticed Shiro standing and licking his lips and fingers. She sat all the way up and grasped the outside of the pockets of his pants and pulled him to her. She kissed at the burned scars as her hands busily unzipped the front of his pants. His breathing got erratic as she looked up as his parted lips that he licked at. He was not going to protest, now, was he?She looked up him with her hands paused in their actions. He reached down with his scarred hand and brushed the hair that stuck to the side of her face from the sweat with a smile. She bit her bottom lip and her hands reached into the hole of both his pants and briefs. She felt the girth, pure heat, and stiffness of his penis and it twitched in greetings. She also felt that the soft skin of his shaft wasn't spared the fire, but she had no intentions of stopping. His body went as stiff as his cock as she freed the good 8 inch, uncircumsized organ. Sure enough, his penis looked disfigured and scarred like his upper body, but it was strong and very eager. How could she possibly regret such a healthy and happy guy?

She looked up at him and saw him shaking. Not from excitement, but from the next level of his fear. Well, she was well past all of this, and was now on pure lust. She wasn't about to let this moment be ruined by anything but him cumming too soon. As one hand pulled the skin off his head and stroked his shaft, the other dove back into the hole to free his testicles. His body's quivering changed reasons in a split second and the overly sexy groans began. When she saw his eyes close shut, she knew it was her turn to pleasure. It had been well over 10 years since she's given a blow job, but the mechanics weren't that hard to forget. Her one hand stroked while the other fiddled with his sack. She puts her tongue flat at the base of his shaft and drug it up against the bulbous muscle of his undershaft. She let her hand take the moisture from her actions and slowly stroke him with a crude sloshing as she blindly tongued his frenulum.

Pre-cum dripped down the head and pooled against her tongue. She took the liquid in and followed it back to its origin. She took the very tip of his head in a fish kiss as her tongue lapped at the small hole. Shiro cussing and trying to stop himself from thrusting was enough to get her wet again. It was also a sign that he was getting pretty close. Without warning, she took the head and most of the shaft deep into her mouth and pressed him as far as her gag reflex would let her. She twisted her mouth and let her saliva coat the inserted muscle. Some of it dripped down to his balls and she used it to intensify the experience. His cock twitched inside like it was alive as his hands came into play. Both pushed her hair back into his overly scarred hand to hold it like a pony tail while the other moved back and gripped the side of his pants. She could tell he was trying to not grab her and thrust into her mouth, wildly, but there were still movement in his hips, soft but threatening to unhinge into something primal. She pulled her mouth back with suction until her lips got to the head. As she sucked on it like a lollipop, her hands busily stroked the lubricated shaft and sack.

She took the length of him a few more times before taking him all in again and holding him there with her hands pressing his ass towards her, but this time, she added a low hum to vibrate the back of her throat. That was enough to shatter his control. He leaned forward with a growling 'Fuck' and took the back of her head to drive himself into her mouth in a mild force that she wasn't going to fight. He was getting too close to stop him now, but she didn't have a choice. He let go of her hair and yanked himself out of her mouth, but she maintained her grip on the shaft as she stroked him hard and fast with his pre-cum and her spit glistening as she moved her hand faster.

"Fu... Fuck... Allura... oooooh." She brought both of her hands up and watched his face as she double fisted his shaft. She had never seen anything more erotic in her life then a man like Shiro, losing control. Her lips were apart as she looked up at him gripping the head board and his body convulsing. She put her mouth on his head and caught every little squirt of semen she could. His hand gripped the top of her head and she could feel his body convulsing with his climax as he grunted and muttered what sounded like her name. She swallowed the salty musk and moved over so he could collapse upon his bed beside her.

* * *

She used her fingers to wipe some of his semen off her lips and chin while she watched his scarred chest rise and fall rapidly. She was proud of herself. She made him like this. Her eyes fell to the arm he had been hiding from her, laying beside him, the fingers twitching once in a while. She scooted to him, lifted the limb up, and pressed her naked body against his side then draped the limb over her shoulder. She brought the hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. He smiled, tired and happily, before curling the mangled arm and bringing her closer as he turned into her. They kissed, mingling the tastes of their sex's together. It was odd, but tasting herself on his lips sparked and riled her up, again. It was then that time did a really strange thing. Like she was on drugs.

She remembered riding him with her back pressed against his chest, being bent over and drilled with her breath on her neck, hugging his head to her chest as she rocked her hips heavily, but it was when she was on her back with her arms held over her head and her legs wrapped around him that time caught up to her. The delicious build of molten ice in between her legs just before she came hard. She felt him pushing against her tightness and him yell out in pure pleasure. His name felt like a winning prize as she arched and came again. He pulled her into his lap with a bear-like vice as he sat back on his knees and just churned her up and down. Gods... it was heaven and hell at the same time. She came again and again and she screamed but couldn't hear it over the pounding of her ears and smacking of her flesh. When he finally reached his climax, it was ragged and burning hot inside of her. She could finally hear him. His grunting as he held her and made the curve of her neck moist from his moaning gasps for air. Her once heavy arms found their way around his head. Her fingers digging into his scalp with a gentle, loving rub, "Ohhh... Takashi... Oooohhh... God. That was amazing."

She felt him smile against her skin and he kissed whatever skin was near his lips. He lifted them and dropped them in the center of the bed before she felt the excrutiatingly teasing pull out that made a moist noise that was barely heard over the two of them hissing from the feeling. He pushed himself above her, but paused to look down at her. She couldn't believe after what they had just done that this little moment made her embarrassed. The way he was looking at her reminded her of how Sendak looked at all his lionesses. He bent down and kissed her deeply, sensually, and slowly. Did he want to go another round? Because this was how other rounds started. He pulled away and with barely a whisper, he smiled, "I love you. I love you, Allura."

Her heart stopped beating and when it remembered to do so, it came back to life screaming. Tears she didn't ask for pooled into her eyes and she could see the bewilderment on Shiro's face. She blinked them out of her eyes and started to wipe at her face, "Sorry. I'm sorry. You... you snuck that on me. You should know better than to surprise me. I'm very easily startled." She sniffled the emotions back and let out a heavy sigh. He was still searching her face with a regretful look, "You beautiful man, you. Shiro, I've been in love with you since I met you. So... of course... I love you, too. I do... I love you."

He smiled that smile of his and he lowered himself back down on her. He kissed her two happy times before rolling off the top of her and beside. He pulled the comforter and sheet over them as he spooned with her. WIth a happy hum on her shoulder, he kissed it a few times, and within minutes she could feel his heavy breath of sleep on the back of her neck. That, strangely, brought joy to her. She bit her bottom lip and smiled widely as she pushed her back against him. She looked down at the mangled arm, resting around her body, and content of being out of its sleeve. She brought the loose and lifeless arm up to her lips and kissed the back of it and hugged it to her chest. She let her mind wander as she caressed the limb with her thumb until sleep also caught up with her.

* * *

Light stung the back of her eyes and made her stir awake. She was unbelievably warm and a little confused and... sore. The memories flooded back to her and she smiled. She turned over to see Shiro slightly drooling on his pillow breathing soundly through his mouth. Fondly, she watched him. She moved the sheet and with the new abundance of light, she saw her new favorite friend... his mangled limb. It wasn't as red and raw as it looked to her in the pale lit room, last night. It had bits of his real skin tone, but the rest looked like waves of red and darker skin color. She let her eyes drift to the rest of his burns on his chest. They were a little darker than his skin tone, but not enough to notice if you weren't too close to it.

She couldn't stop herself, she reached out and touched his chest. As she touched him, she let his story run through her head. God... how painful it must have been. Not just the fire, but the sheer horror of watching your mother burning alive as you try, in vain, to pull them out. Her story could never compare to that nightmare. She heard him take a deep breath through his nose as he hummed out a stretch and his eyes fluttered open. She took her hand back but smiled as he stared at her with a questionable look. In a low, untested voice, he whispered, "Yo... you stayed?"

She furrowed her brow. What a foolish question... "Of course I stayed. There's nowhere else I want to be."

Her answer seemed to knock off whatever darkness had plagued him and he reached over with his ungloved arm. It shocked her that he was using it, so she jumped back from it. He stopped with a freaked out look, "S... Sorry. I..."

She immediately realized her mistake and grabbed the arm in mid air and pulled it to rest on her cheek, "I'm sorry. I didn't think you were comfortable enough to touch me with it, so it shocked me. THAT shocked me. Not your arm." She proved it by mimicking her actions with it form last night. Turning her cheek and kissing the palm.

"You don't have to try so hard, Allura. I know its disgusting looking."

He had a deep hatred in those words. She shook her head in his palm and it made him look up at her. She clenched the limb and spoke with pure sincerity, "I'm not trying at all. This is my limb, now. It belongs to me." She slid his thumb into her mouth and sucked on it. The digit rested in the cradle of her tongue as she gave it a professional minstrations that she was sure he recognized. She closed her eyes and sucked on the digit until it popped out of her mouth.

His hand's grip suddenly got very possessive and she shot her eyes open to see that she stirred a little bit of the beast in him. She smiled as he drifted his cold, moist thumb over her bottom lip. She kissed at his hand, still grasping his wrist with her own hands, until they were jolted away with his sudden lurch forward and claiming her lips with a crash. When he pulled away, he rest his forehead on hers and whispered ever so sweetly, "It's not the only thing that belongs to you."


End file.
